I have this really weird feeling going on. It's like the muscles in my arms are really tense, and then as it gets down to my wrists, it's like that part of my arm doesn't exist. That's also how my brain feels. Like it's not there.
It's like at the surface I'm completely fine, but beneath that, I'm so paranoid and anxious. But I don't feel anxious. I don't feel afraid on the outside. It's like my thoughts are going a million miles an hour. So fast that I almost don't even know they're there. Which might be why it feels like everything's okay.
I have to keep repeating to myself that I actually do have a mental illness and it's real. Otherwise the medication wouldn't be working the way it is. I'm not just making it up for attention because every time I try to "snap out of it", I can't. And when I realize I'm not faking it, I break down. It's like there's no escape sometimes. I can't snap out of it because it's real. I don't get to choose when it affects me.
YOU ARE READING
『You have mental problems』
Non-Fiction**Trigger warning for a lot of the stuff mentioned in this thing.** I'm not dangerous, just mentally ill.
