Principle 1: Begin with praise and sincere appreciation.
Not hip enough. I’ve never heard of a 17 year old not being hip enough. Just because I don’t dedicate myself to the newest skinny jean trends doesn’t mean I’m not cool. I am so cool.
Who am I kidding? I’m the lamest person I know. Ugh. Now I sound like one of those Agony Aunt letters, which is only making me even lamer, if that’s metaphysically – even I don’t know exactly what that means, it just sounds intelligent - possible.
I sit down exhaustedly on a dilapidated – does anyone even use that word anymore? Maybe Bruce was right, I’m out of touch – park bench. Dilapidated, meaning having fallen into a state of disrepair or deterioration, as through neglect; broken-down, shabby; just like my current prospects of getting into Columbia.
Dammit. This was supposed to be my dream job! I wanted to be a journalist, didn’t I? I wanted to travel the world and expose wrongs and discover new things and new people and maybe even garner myself a cute guy along the way. This job at TeenMag, reporting on the latest and greatest fashion apps and the hottest celebrity workout secrets, wasn’t exactly the best pathway into world news reporting on issues like the newest terrorist attacks or the increasing dangers of global warming. (Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t the commies’ fault.)
One thing I do know for sure, though, is that Bruce has probably made poor old Dale Carnegie roll in his grave. Does using corporate buzzwords count as sincere praise? Does calling me too lame to work count as honest appreciation?
I doubt it.
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How to Win Friends and Influence People
HumorTILLY NOONSTONE IS CONFUSED. What is the point of probability with tree diagrams or bacon-wrapped hot dogs if one child dies of malaria every minute? What is the point of judging a girl who asks for extra pickles on her naked hamburger if baseball p...
