Principle 1: Begin with praise and sincere appreciation.
I gloomily considered my prospects.
Option 1: Give up on lifelong dream, move back to the beautiful, backwards island of Stromboli.
There was no way I could go back to live somewhere that sounded more like a pasta dish than an Italian island. This would also be admitting that my parents , who truly believed that young women had no business traveling alone or being opinionated – especially if that opinion diverged from theirs – were right. Of course, this was not the most appealing possibility.
Option 2: Go back to TeenTrash and beg for my job to snot-nosed Bruce.
Bitch, please.
Option 3: Send a CV to the neighborhood Burger King.
I would probably die of intellectual starvation serving crappy milkshakes 8 hours a day, not to mention the fashion implications that came with the job – those uniforms were so unflattering. Plus, no poetic irony / humor / drama to be gleaned from the experience, meaning I couldn’t even put it on my resume. Ug.
I gloomily walked home, thoughts swirling faster than the red and brown leaves in the autumn breeze. Climbing the four flights of stairs leading up to my apartment, hoping to huff and puff myself into an idea, I had a sudden thought.
Throwing myself onto my couch, I sighed and steeled myself for the inevitable. It was obvious what I had to do. It was unfortunate things had to end this way, but I had no other choice.
It was time to finish Bruce.
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How to Win Friends and Influence People
HumorTILLY NOONSTONE IS CONFUSED. What is the point of probability with tree diagrams or bacon-wrapped hot dogs if one child dies of malaria every minute? What is the point of judging a girl who asks for extra pickles on her naked hamburger if baseball p...
