Knights of the Grey City

Chapter 38 - BURDEN

I knocked on Joshua Huang's apartment door and waited with my arms crossed.

After a minute or so, I heard some shuffling on the other side, and it was Joanna who opened the door, squinting out over her glasses. "Who is..? Oh—Camilo, right?"

I put on a smile. "Yeah, Joshua's friend. Is he here right now?"

"Didn't you text him to see?" she asked, frowning. "I mean, yeah, he's here, but—"

I sighed. "He's not replying to my texts, and I need to talk to him."

Joanna's eyes flicked from me to behind her, struggling with some internal debate. After a moment, she muttered something under her breath and stepped outside into the hall with me, closing the door behind her.

"He's probably not feeling up to it," she said. "Sorry. He would have responded to your texts if he was cool with you just dropping by, you know."

I held up my hands. "I'm sorry. I know it's a bit intrusive. I'm just worried he's... having some kind of a breakdown?"

Joanna was still frowning, her eyes narrowed like she was trying to peer into my skull. "Well..."

"I, uh. Know he struggles with depression sometimes. I'm the same way," I added, jamming my hands into my pockets. "He's doing the thing where he isolates himself from everyone, and I just need to talk to him."

"Oh, he told you about that, huh?" Joanna visibly relaxed. "I guess you two are better friends than I thought. He's not having a breakdown or anything; I've seen him much worse than this. I might call it a funk? Honestly, I'd advise you to just let him come out of it on his own."

"I still want to talk to him. Maybe I can help," I said.

She chewed on her lip. "Maybe you can get him out of the apartment? I sure as hell can't. I don't know what's been going on with him recently, but... it's like he's becoming a different person."

"I'm sorry," I said.

She looked back at me sharply. "Well... doesn't have much to do with you, Camilo, though I appreciate he's still out there making friends, somehow. People who understand him, even. I don't know, it's like... he's fighting some private war that he won't tell anyone about. I just don't understand."

I elected not to say anything about that, and she shrugged. "Well. I'll let you in, anyway."

"Thanks," I said.

Joanna opened the door and called inside, "Hey, Joshua, your friend Camilo's here!" To me, she whispered, "living room," and then disappeared into the kitchen to let us talk in peace.

Huang was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed, evidently doing nothing at all. He swivelled around to look at me and asked, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" I asked, starting to get a little angry despite myself. Yeah, I knew what depression did to you, the way it sucked everything that meant anything right out of your life. But Huang had a responsibility to us, damn it. This was not the time.

He sighed. "All right, I guess I know the answer to that question."

He looked like kind of a mess, wearing an old hoodie, his hair tangled, and bags visible under his eyes. I sat down in the chair across from him and leaned on the armrest.

"So," I said, "I talked with Leviathan. No good news, though."

"I got your text about that," he said, now avoiding eye contact.

"A response would have been nice. Even an 'OK'?" I suggested. "You can't do this, man. We need you in there."

"You clearly don't," Huang said. "I... messed up, you know?"