52. Love/Hurt

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"Be mine. Not just... get engaged to me. Be with me. You like it or not, you hate me all you want, but be mine" he said in a steady tone. "For good"

Beam stared into the deep eyes of the man that had once tried to sneak his way into his life and heart. Only to end up crushing and throwing it away and shattering all the pride and self esteem he had along the way. And now this...

Even after all his apologies and all his claims of love, in the end, he turned out just like the rest of the pathetic world around him. Using his love for his let out a sigh. "Fuck you"

"I know... you love that boy, more than you love yourself, only a fool can't see that" Forth said quietly. "Now... I know it's blackmail, but you leave me no choice. You decide"

Beam scoffed. "Okay, should I come to your faculty too? And suck mouths with you to treat your little wounded ego? Cook meals for you? Or maybe, wait for you at nights, naked in my bed to warm you up?" He sneered. Okay... If that's what you want, then fine... you have me. Now, what do you say we leave the shows and start with fucking? Your place or mine? Or the way you like it, some cheap motel room-"

"Shut up" Forth scoffed, shaking his head. "No. Hell no"

Beam blinked.

Forth tried to make Beam look at him but Beam swatted his hand away. "Okay..." he sighed dejectedly and rested his hands on either side of Beam's head. "Beam, baby. I won't touch you that way if you don't absolutely want me to" he said, making Beam give him a doubtful look and a scoff. "I just... I want a chance to make you see how much I love you. I want to have a chance to explain my side of the story Beam and you won't let me. I... I am pathetic but... I need you to hear me out. I need you to see how much you mean to me and... I really really need to make you are that I can be a lot of bad things but hurting you won't be one of them"

Beam looked him in the eye. "And you think, you saying that would make me love you?"

Forth leaned closer to look him in the eye. "No. I know you well enough to be sure that you won't. And I am just as sure of that as I am sure that I love you"

Beam's face contorted with hatred. "Love? You love you? How could you say that to my face after what you did to me? After..." he chuckled to suppress his emotions. "After you bet on me, after you humiliated me and then..." He licked his lips. "How could you look me in the eye and tell me you love me after what you did to me?"

Forth teared up. "I... can not change what pathetic excuse of a man I've been. Doesn't mean I can't change myself. For you. Just... for you. Beam, I am not a good person, I've never been. I've done a lot of bad things to a lot of people. People I love! Just like I made a bet on you! Yes. I did that but I that is that... I-"

"Beam?"

They both went silent as they looked at a frowning Phana alongside a wide eyed Wayo. Phana looked between them with confusion written all over his face. "What- what's going on here? Forth? What the hell are you- hey, get away from Beam!" he said heatedly and Forth scoffed, rolling his eyes while Wayo stayed still in his place, staring between them.

"Quit it! We're just talking" Beam said calmly with his face expressionless.

"What kind of talk?" Pha asked with narrowed eyes and Beam narrowed his own eyes in return.

"The kind boyfriends have" he replied curtly and Pha froze. Even Wayo's eyes bulged out.

"What?" Pha exclaimed after a while and Beam rolled his eyes, shoving an equally shocked Forth away to open his car.

"Eh, already deaf at such young age I see, does that have to do with your little boy over there always ranting to you?" He asked savagely. "Mind your own damn business! Go home Forth. I'll see you tomorrow. Babe" with that he got in and drove away, his head buzzing with what just transpired.

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