Unfettered (Loki x Reader)

*Chapter 52 - To See*

"And you submitted your debrief report? Fury is going to want to know about everything  that happened in that godforsaken place. If I tell him I let you run off to Godland without filling it out, it's my ass on the line."

"Yes, Tony, I filled it out! JARVIS already has a virtual copy, and there's a hard copy on your desk. I woke up early this morning to finish it."

Tony eyes you up and down. "I just don't like it, squirt. The last time you went up there...or out there...or, in there...or wherever the hell that place is, we didn't see you for a month."

"Don't worry, Tony. Thor and Loki both assured me we'll only be gone for a few days. I'll be back by poker night."

"You'd better be. You still hold the pot, you know. I want my 15 bucks back," he says ruffling your hair before pulling you in for a hug.

"Have fun, honey. But be careful," Pepper says, gently patting back in place the hairs that Tony had messed up.

You give her a hug as well before looking over at Phil, who stands nearby. He gives you a  warm nod, and you smile back, thinking on your conversation with him that morning. He had decided to stay at Stark Tower until his team came back from their current mission. You knew he'd only be around for a few days, so after finishing your debrief report for Tony, you had knocked on his door. 

Although it had been early, Phil had been awake, and had invited you in. For several hours you spoke at length. Immediately you had shared with him all the things you wished you had gotten to say to him when you initially found out he had died. That you were thankful for him. That he had saved your life. 

In turn, Phil told you just how proud he was of you, and of how far you had come. He told you that your quick thinking at the farmhouse likely saved your life. Little Lila had indeed gotten the message to Tony, who in turn took it to Fury. Fury decided to spill the beans on TAHITI and pulled Phil into the mission. As the resident HYDRA expert, Phil was the one who located the compound you were being held at.

After several hours catching up, Phil had made you a tantalizing offer - return to S.H.I.E.L.D and join his team. At first, your heart leapt at the opportunity. You almost accepted it without a thought. You had missed your oldest and dearest friend. To have him back from the dead was unthinkable. And to be asked to join his team - the most elite team at S.H.I.E.L.D. - unbelievable.

But you hesitated, and in that moment of hesitation, you heard Tony's voice calling you "squirt". You tasted Steve's pancakes, and saw Natasha's sisterly smile. The Avengers were your family. You couldn't leave them.

You declined Phil's offer, with the understanding that the  invitation to visit was an open one, and you received the number to his direct line. One that only Fury and a handful of others had.

"So, you're going realm-hopping, huh kid?" Phil smiles as you near him.

"I guess I am," you say with a smile. 

But unlike the others, Phil can see that the smile doesn't reach your eyes. His own grin fades as his gaze searches yours. He must find something in it he doesn't like. "Maybe you should take some time," he suggests. 

His words sour your own expression. "Why? I'm fine?" you intend to say with a laugh, but instead it comes out sharp. Bitten.

Phil sighs. "You were like this the first time I found you too," he says. "You don't have to be okay, you know. You've just gone through hell. Maybe you should take some time to-."

"To what?" you snap. "Go to therapy again? Talk about what they did to me this time around?" Phil quirks a brow. "No," you snap. "I...I'll be fine. I want to be fine. So I...I will be."