the autism shots

after the storm

NOTE: these are based on my actual meltdowns. I will probably do something about my autism someday but I'm not sure at the moment.

Listen to the song to get into that good old mood where you feel like you will burst into tears.

other songs to listen to include:

* Wildfire (alternate version) by SYML

*Wonderwall by Bryan Adams

*Something About Us by Daft Punk (can we get one F please)

*Come as you are by nirvana 

Ps: if you find a song reference, you get a brownie.

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Fog covered the windows as the stream filled the warm kitchen. The only sounds Axel could hear was the low hum of the gas stove, the bubble of the water in the pot that cooked the spaghetti, and the creaking and quiet sobs of his boyfriend that came from their room.

Axel hated these days. Not because it was an inconvenience, or that it was annoying or ruined dates. He just felt helpless. During these times, Jasper would cry, rock in his chair or eat junk food until he slowly calmed down. He'd watch some mindless youtube videos, lying in his nest - this was a corner of the bedroom where blankets, pillows and soft toys would comfort Jasper. He would spend hours there at a time, staying quiet as he watched his videos or cried quietly over a migraine. And Axel knew that he couldn't do anything. All he could do was hold Jasper and get him food. There was nothing else he needed to do. Jasper just had to calm himself down slowly, one minute at a time.

As Axel drained the pasta, the creaking ceased. Jasper had stopped pacing. He probably had gone to sit down. Axel sloppily dumped the noodles in a bowl, pinching a little salt over it before grabbing two forks. Jasper never had tomato sauce on his pasta - sometimes he had melted cheese sprinkled and stirred around with the spaghetti but Jasper didn't usually do this when he was in this state. Axel placed the pasta, as well as two mugs; one with white coffee and the other with English tea, on a tray. He slowly crept over to the door, kicking it open with his boots and glancing over to look at his boyfriend.

Axel and Jasper had been boyfriends for just over a year and Axel still found himself losing his breath every time he saw the other male. Jasper's skin had a light honey complexion,  dotted with freckles, from across his face to all around his shoulders and the rest of his slender body. This was only noticeable now because of the light that came from both the laptop's light and the fairy lights that gave off a dim glow. His nails were painted a sunflower yellow, Axel noticed they were chipped as he clutched a cloud plush against his chest, rocking slowly with his body hunch over, his back landing against the pillows, surrounded by a soft purple and blue fairy lights and various plushies. His freckled arms were covered in bracelets - some were made of brightly coloured pastel beads, some were Kandi bracelets and some were made of stone beads. Jasper only had about ten or eleven bracelets on each arm. He wore a grey band shirt that Axel recognised as one of his, a Foo Fighters shirt. He wore a set of grey joggings and a matching grey hoodie. The hood hid Jasper's hair, which was a wild, curly, brown mess that was on occasion tied up in a frizzy ponytail. Axel could see it sticking out the hood, as well as a set of black headphones that gently pressed against Jasper's ears. He noticed Jasper was staring blankly at whatever video he was watching, his green eyes were red from crying with dark bags that hung underneath. 

"Hey," Axel spoke softly, "Jas?"

Jasper started, looking up and shuffled slightly, a silent invitation to allow Axel to sit next to him. Axel slowly walked over, setting the tray down next to Jasper and sat down, kicking off his boots. Jasper gave his hand a squeeze, looking at him with a slightly glazed expression.