the autism shots

volcano

This song is amazing yall. It pretty much summarises how I feel in my meltdowns (in term of music tone, how fast-paced and the climax is during the song). Listen to it in time with the song and you'll see exactly what I mean.

DISCLAIMER: This portrayal of meltdowns is based on my own experiences as well as looking up other experiences of how autistic people feel during meltdowns. This does not represent every autistic person's meltdowns. 

Charlie if you're reading this I lied when I said I was gonna do schoolwork.

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The harsh bells ringing in Alex's ears told them that their science class was starting in five minutes. They winced as they walked down the corridor, the ringing continuing for five painful seconds before abruptly stopping. Alex was incredibly overwhelmed already as they stepped into the science class, the people already chattering. Half their classes were getting stressful due to coursework and unexpected changes - such as the fact that Alex's science class was getting a substitute for the next week until their teacher came back from visiting her sick sister.  They had no idea if the substitute knew about the whole autism thing, but Alex prayed that was the case. They sat at their usual spot by the door rocking slightly. 

A girl looked over at Alex, who they quickly realised to be Flora. They weren't friends but she was friendly towards the other, giving them smiles, checking if they were okay or generally saying hi. They liked her a lot. They noticed Flora had dipped dyed the tips of her wavy, dark brown hair a light pink colour and the rose pink lipstick she decided to wear that morning. Alex themselves had blue hair, in a pixie cut style. it was equally as curly. Flora had darker skin than Alex though - hers reminded them of copper. Alex's skin was pasty white, with acne hidden under a light layer of foundation. Dark circles were visible behind Alex's circular glasses, sagging the skin under their coffee coloured eyes. Flora wore light green eyeshadow that seemed to brighten up her entire face. She also wore an olive dress with a darker green cardigan. Alex just wore a hoodie and some ripped jeans. 

Alex snapped out of their staring trance when she gave them a friendly smile and wave. They smiled back and waved back, just as the teacher entered. Her own stare was focused and unblinking, causing Alex to shrink down in their seat. 

"Hello, class." She spoke in a quiet, droll tone. "Mrs Clive is obviously not here today, she'll be away for a few days."

"When will she be back?" A voice called out. 

"Next week." The teacher responded swiftly, taking out some printed out sheets. "Can someone hand these out please while I take the register?"

Flora immediately volunteered, grabbing her bag at the same time. Alex didn't focus on that. Their eyes focused on their table as they rocked slightly, worried about the chaos that would happen soon enough. They could already hear some loud laughter from the back of the class. Why did Mrs Clive had to go? Now everything was going to get too much and they'd scream or cry and it would be embarrassing for everyone. 

"Alex?" 

Oh. Right. Register. "Yes, Mrs." Alex mumbled, rocking faster. 

"Wil you stop that please?" She asked in a cool voice, causing Alex to stop abruptly. They felt tears prick in their eyes as embarrassment filled them. 

Flora finally handed them a sheet and put her bag down before sitting next to the other. "Hey."

Alex gave her a nod but just stared at the sheet in front of them.

"I'm gonna sit here with you, ok? We can do the worm together if you want."

Alex looked at the sheet for a few moments. It was something about how the heart functions. "Ok." They murmured, taking a pen out of their pocket and started working on the sheet in silence.