the autism shots

burnt out

Joseph was exhausted by the time the final bell rang in his ears that Friday. It persistently shrilled that school had ended and the loud noise everyone made as they escaped the classroom didn't help either. They babbled boisterously as the teacher shouted out reminders about coursework and whatever shit he needed to say, even though everyone already knew and did not give a toss. This usually didn't bother Joseph, but he had an overwhelming day. The class that morning was a substitute lesson, which resulted in a lot of loud yelling and fucking around from other students, which took a lot of energy out of Joseph. The shrieks and loud laughter started to chip away at Joseph's mask as he attempted to stay as calm as he could. Stimming helped, but not that much this time around. And forgetting his earbuds didn't help either, nor the fact that the substitute wouldn't let the blonde leave or listen to some music to calm down. He probably thought Joseph wanted to mess around or bunk, but he really didn't. Well, bunking maybe. It would be better than staying in that hell of a room. His social batteries were slowly draining and overall, he was exhausted - actually not exhausted... depleted. 

And Joseph still had to stumble onto the bus, sit there for a few hours (though at least it was socially acceptable to be listening to music then) and stumble back into his house and into his room. His sibling Jules gave him a cup of tea and some pizza at least, so there was that. He knew they'd leave him alone after that. He hid under a weighted blanket and laid there quietly, listening to whatever mindless thing that YouTube was recommending to him. He wasn't looking at the screen. The brightness gave him a headache and he couldn't turn it down or he couldn't see the screen. So there was really no winning for Joseph. Except for the blanket, the quick pizza Jules made him and the tea. 

Just then, Joseph's phone rang. He thought about not answering but noticed it was Westley calling. After hesitating for a moment, he slowly picked up. 

"Hey Jo! Aaron's doing a party tonight!" Westley boomed out. "You coming?"

Joseph started to mentally panic. Ok, should he make some excuse? But fuck, then he'd feel like a piece of shit for lying to his friends and he never liked doing so anyway. Well, unless it was an emergency but this wasn't really an emergency was it? Was it? Ok so maybe he could just say no and fess up. Ugh, but then Westley would come around and not go to the party and Joseph didn't want to ruin anything for the other, especially since Aaron's parties were wild. Just stop debating and say no - but fuck speaking takes so much effort.

"Jo?" Oh shit. Just answer!

"Sorry, no." Joseph said the words as quietly as he could but Westley's ears picked them up.

"You ok, Jo? You sound rough."

'I am.' Joseph thought to himself, quietly starting to rock himself in his bed.

"Do you want me to come over? I don't mind skipping out. I kinda wanted to hang out with you and Jules anyway." 

Why did everyone have to make Joseph feel bad? But then again, if Westley said it was ok...

"Sure." Joseph said, trying to ignore a raging pain in his head that started panging against his forehead. 

"Cool, I'll be there in a few, probably an hour or so? See you."

The phone hung up and with that, Joseph shut it off and rolled out of bed with his blanket and laptop. Joseph's bed was pretty cool. It was Jules' idea mainly, they did the same thing for their own room. They got a few shelf things from IKEA and a huge piece of plywood and put them all together to make a bed - well, once the mattress was on, it was a bed. Underneath was a den Joseph did for himself. It had some beanbags, fluffy pillows and blankets as well as a few books, some dimly lit fairy lights that would hang over and a few motivational quotes to make him feel better.

It sucked having autism and being popular. It had a lot of downsides, such as refusing parties when feeling burnt out and stressed, feeling anxious about the numerous girls who would ask him out (though Joseph did have his eye on a cute girl on the track team) and his meltdowns were very noticeable. But it had it's upsides. Joseph became friendly with a lot of neurodivergent kids in the lower years, he could talk to his classmates about his condition easily and his friend group was incredibly understanding. He liked it a lot, it made him feel a lot better about life and it was nice to have the support.

Just then, Joseph could hear the door of his bedroom creak open. "Jo?" It was Jules. "Hey dude. Westley's here. Is he fine coming in?" 

Joseph peaked out of the den and looked between the locks of his shaggy hair to see Jules and the familiar red hair of his best friend. He nodded quietly and gave the red hair he could see a small smile. Jules shuffled to the side and allowed Westley to pass, allowing Joseph to see the hulking figure of his best friend. 

Westley was the tallest and heaviest guy Joseph had ever met. He had one barrel of a chest and a large frame that barely fit inside the den. He had shrimp red hair that stood up straight on his head, reminding Joseph of a mad scientist that just got an electric shock. His blotchy white skin was covered by a red vest top and black jeans as well as some cheaply thrifted sneakers. They were slightly grubby and seemed to have been put on in a hurry. Joseph almost felt guilty for asking Westley to come around. He then noticed a plastic bag in his friend's hands.

"Hey." The red haired male grinned. "I got a load of junk food if you wanted." 

Joseph smiled back, not really wanting to talk but appreciated it.

"Hey Jo? I'm just gonna make you that soup stuff you like. Do you want some?" Jules asked from the doorway. Joseph nodded and quickly grabbed some communication cards he had made for himself when he was too overwhelmed to talk. He showed two - one saying 'thank you' and the other with a pizza. Jules gave a two fingered salute to their brother and a smile to Westley. "No prob. See you, West." They left afterwards and Westley sat down with Joseph as his bedroom door shut.

"Damn it, why do they have to be so cute?"

Joseph laughed a little and he curled back into the den, his back against one of the shelves. Westley had always sworn up and down that he was straight as hell and never really considered the idea of dating someone who wasn't male but fuck did he simp for Jules. Ever since the two met, Westley had always whined about how hot Jules was and how nervous he would get around them. Truth be told, Jules was fully aware. They actually felt the same. They just wanted to wait for Westley to get the courage to admit it to them, since they figured saying something now would stress him out. Joseph just wanted to see the ship finally sail. 

He took out three cards. 'Ask Jules out.'

"It's not that easy, Jo!" 

The blonde snickered at that as he retreated back into his blanket. He took out his phone and typed out his message, seeing as it was there and it would be easier. 'It's really cute though, You're like the toughest guy I know and you literally melt over them. It's precious."

Westley blushed as he went to shuffle in next to Joseph. "Hush bitch."

Joseph laughed quietly before resting his burnt out self onto the carrot haired male's large frame.

"You ok, bud?" He asked, but allowed Joseph to use him as a pillow. The two were quite affectionate towards each other - well, the entire friend group was really. Heads would end up on laps, hair would be played around with and many hugs would be given. 

Joseph sunk into Westley and quietened down, signalling that he was well and truly out of battery. Westley quietly took out Joseph's laptop and went to get out a few videos about the ocean. He knew Joseph liked that kind of thing and enjoyed certain things about it. He liked the sounds and calls of various dolphins and whales, so Westley got that out. He never understood how beautiful they were until Joseph educated him in the way of whales and dolphins. Joseph let out a heavy sigh at the noises, trying to tell Westley thank you. 

But Westley could understand anyway.

-

And this my friends is what being burnt out feels like! It's utter hell! :)

But seriously, if you have a mate who is feeling burnt out, let them vibe and chill until they feel able to chat and be themselves again. And if you happen to be with them, vibe with them and just let them relax. 

Kinda short but Imma do a part two for Westley and Jules because tbh I find the idea of them together kinda cute.