Silently, Mute. [OLD VERSION]

Chapter Eighteen

[Sasuke]

I squint at the incoming sunlight. I turn over in my bed snuggling the sheets closer to my body. Fuck that woke me up.

I yawn and mindlessly stare at my sheets. Then suddenly last night events flood into my head. I sit up and look at where Naruto was last night.

It's empty.

The side of the bed he was on was fully made up, pillows too.

He just left? Wait when did I get in the bed? I thought I fell asleep on the floor? I bit my bottom lip and ran my hand on where he was.

Did he remember the kiss? Does he even remember that?

I remember the feeling of it so vividly. His lips on mine.

How'd he manage to be so gentle while simultaneously destroying everything in the process?

Why don't you like me back?

Is that his true feelings? What are my feelings?

I ran my fingers over the place on my neck where Naruto kissed me. He just left after yesterday? I run my fingertips back over it. He just fucking left me! Then I run back down the hickey with my nails, digging hard into my skin.

He has to know we kissed? Right?

Damn it Naruto. Should I hate him? Do I even bring this up?

Why don't you like me back?

The question keeps ringing in my head. Nonstop. I do like you back. Way too much. Everything became so real the second he pinned me.

I could've easily pushed him off. He was sluggish and half asleep.

But I fucking didn't and I hate myself.

I used him. I wanted that moment so badly I just ran with it. I just let him do what he wanted because I was so desperate for that moment. The feelings I had tried burying for him had taken over me at that moment.

I'm such shit for that. He was drunk, Sasuke. What's wrong with you! I grab at my hair.

Over this month I fell so hard for him. A guy. I tried to just play it off as a special relationship, that's the only way I could live with what we were doing and not question myself. Just a special relationship. Friendship.

I'm so stupid. I chuckle, I really played the fuck out of having a special relationship with him so I could continue enjoying doing shit like cuddling all the time and more just so I can sleep at night.

I guess kissing is a part of the special relationship too.

Damn it. Was it even worth it? One kiss for what? How do I even face him knowing I kissed him. Knowing I want to do it again when Naruto doesn't even know we did it to begin with.