the color of my life × taekook

3. doubt

Jungkook's pov

Taehyung hasn't been looking at me since we started walking to his apartment. He avoided looking at me a few times after I tripped over him.

That fall... It was a colorful explosion. I saw Taehyung's honey-like skin, I noticed his eyes that were a brown so dark I mistook it for black at first.

My soulmate must have been somewhere around us yet I couldn't look away. Not even when Taehyung stood up and I saw black and white again. I've never been this close to him.

When he turned to look at me I was hit with both the colors and his boxy smile. I felt my heart beat slightly faster but shook my head and followed him, the monochromatic world being there again.

When we got to his apartment he let me sit in the living room and said he'll be back in a minute. Everything was neat and clean. He must live alone.

Taehyung's pov

He didn't ask me anything on the way. Good. I'm not that good with conversations anyway, even more so if it's about soulmates, and with Jungkook.

I came back and saw him standing with his back turned to me , looking at some family pictures. I smiled and, as if he knew I was looking, Jungkook turned back and looked at me.

Once the colors invaded my vision, I realized I forgot that I could make him see the polychromatic world. Of course he knew I was looking at him. I looked away for a moment but it was too late. He was looking at me in shock.

"You...You live alone, right?" he warily asked.

"Yes." I took a deep breath.

Jungkook's pov

He... It's him. He is the one I've been looking for. Always so close yet so far. But does he know?

I cleared my throat: "This might seem personal, but have you found your soulmate yet?"

He blinked but held his chin high.
"I have. Have you?"

"I have. And he's very close."

Taehyung's pov

So is mine. I wanted to say this so bad but it wouldn't get out.

I gulped. I'm not ready for this. No. No!

"I'm happy for you" my voice came out as a whisper. I can't do this. People always leave me.

He came closer to me and put a hand on my shoulder. We have the same height, and I didn't hesitate to look him in the eyes. I knew what was about to happen.

I knew and wanted to avoid it but how could I? I put my hands on his waist. and our faces were now inches apart, noses almost touching.

No one broke eye contact. We stood there for a while but I took a deep breath and went in. I was kissing Jungkook, and he was kissing back.

...That's what I should've done. That's what I wanted to do. But instead, I faked a confused expression and tilted my head to the side: "Jungkook?"

He looked like he just woke up from a daze and shook his head. He went next to the windows and looked outside.
"Taehyung... Can you see colors?"

"Not now," I said.

"Then.." he turned and looked at me, coloring my vision again. This constant change is making me dizzy. "how about now?" he asked.

I gulped again, covering the voice that told me to say yes. "No" That word alone made my throat burn. It hurts.

Jungkook seemed shocked, and I totally understand. It's because of me that he is not sure about himself anymore. But I can't. Soulmates or not, they always leave.

I kept my chin high and went to the door, waiting for him. "Jungkook? I think we might miss the whole first class. Let's at least get there by the first break...." I bit my lip when he passed me and went out. "Thanks for coming with me."

"It's alright. Hey, I have to go somewhere else before going to school. I'll see you later?" he said and I'm so sorry I disappointed him. Now he doesn't want anything to do with me. I knew it.

"Yeah. See you."