Dream SMP (mcyt) x readers

Tommy X NB/GN! Reader: Anxiety

I used they/them pronouns for this one.

If you are feeling anything described in this fanfic, please reach out to someone. You are not alone, if you have no one else to turn to, my DMs are always open.

TW: Anxiety descriptions

Word count: 1270

From the outside, (Y/N) seemed to be floating along in school with ease; multiple friends, a great boyfriend and rather okay grades. However from (Y/N)'s perspective, they were sinking like a rock. They felt like homework was piling up and they could do nothing to even make a dent in it. They felt a drift in their life, unsure who to talk to about this. They tried to talk to their friends but they couldn't find the energy to; which cause the guilt to build up. It seemed as though no one even noticed the slow cruel vines that seemed to grow in ever corner of their brain, not even their boyfriend of 3 months could see it. Those seemed to spread from their head to their limbs, making even getting out of bed harder than imaginable. However, they seemed to be forced out of bed at least twice a week to go to in person classes while 3 times a week they would log into online courses.

It was one of those in person days, so (Y/N) forced their uncooperative limbs to move away from their warm loving bed. Most of the day went by like a blur, either tediously slow or way to quick. (Y/N) sat in their last class, staring blankly at the board in a trance like state. Apparently class had ended, as (Y/N)'s boyfriend, Tommy, came up to them.

"Would you like to come over to my house? Mum is making pizza and I only have a short stream... But we could do homework together..." Tommy seemed to say trying to give all the information he could think of. It seemed to spew out in rapid succession, almost as though he had spent time prepping the question.

"Oh, umm sure..." (Y/N) couldn't find a way to say no, even thought they were exhausted and just wanted to crawl into bed and cry. The small rock of anxiety seemed to settle in their throat and in the pit of their stomach. As they packed their bag and started walking home hand-in-hand with Tommy, each action cause another stone of anxiety to settle in them. Tommy didn't notice the way they clutched his hand, like it was a life preserver while in the middle of a stormy sea.

They arrive at Tommy's house, they both ran to his room quickly. They didn't stop to say hi to his mum or dad, only waving as they ran past. When they got to Tommy's room, Tommy pulled out his homework and sat on his bed leaving room for (Y/N) to sit comfortably and put their homework down. He seemed to silently say we can do this together, it was slightly odd to see Tommy do his homework in a timely manner but they didn't focus on that. They sat down and pulled out what felt like an extreme amount of homework. While pulling it out, the papers alone felt like thousands on pounds on their arms, heart, lungs and even mental strength.

"I was thinking we could do science together?" Tommy asked, already opening his textbook. He handed them his notes, with a shrug.

"Uh yeah..." Their hands shook slightly, opening the text book and opening their not book. They didn't have notes for the lesson, so they started prepping the page for homework.

"So we have to answer questions number 10-15 and 17-20..." He paused to look in the book, "17-20 has subsections... "

(Y/N) felt the weight on their chest, 'There are around 10 questions, some with subsections, then they had to do math, and then they would have to read and answer questions on a short story for LIT. Then Prep for the upcoming test in Spanish class, and also do the homework for that.'. These thoughts started to fill every corner of their brain, the vines of these thoughts moved to their limbs making them close to immobile. Then the vines wrapped around their lungs making them struggle for air. At the lack of oxygen, their stomach dropped.

"So I already did the first three questions for math while in class, because I understood it... I did the English assignment during lunch, it was only one page of reading and 3 questions! Oh also I made a google doc with all of my notes, would you like to have access?" He questioned stopping his rambling. When he got to response he looked up to see his significant other frozen and wide eyed. He looked them up and down to see if they were hurt, but saw no signs other than their heaving chest.

"Hey Love, I need you take a deep breathe, can you do that for me?" Tommy said as he moved to hold them. They now sat between his legs, facing him. "Can you tell me 5 things you can see right now?"

"I-uh- computer, button..." Their eyes darted searching for anything noticeable, the words were frantic and breathy, "closet, sweater- figure."

The sentence could be roughly be interpreted as, "I see your gaming set up, your diamond play button, your closet, the sweater that has been on your floor for the past week, and your youtooz."

"Okay, you are doing great! What is four things you can touch?" He said pushing their hair out of their face, as it was now clinging to their forehead.

"Sheets, book, pencil, ummm." After that pause they reached out and touched his hand, "you?"

"Good Job babe!" He pressed a kiss to their temple., "now 3 things you can hear?"

"Birds, traffic..." There was another pause to listen for anything, "Walter and Betty..."

"What about two flavors you could taste?" He smiled as he felt their breathing was about normal now.

"(your fav flavor), and chocolate..."

"What is something you can smell?" The final sense.

"Your cologne"

"Good Job, how are you feeling?" Tommy asked, his obviously disheveled love.

"I'm okay..." They felt embarrassed and wished for nothing to disappear.

"Baby, please talk to me..." Tommy stopped, standing up to get them a hoodie wanted to make sure they were comfy. "Here put this on (for anyone binding, 'and take off your binder.')"

He then awkwardly turned around grabbing markers from his desk. He turned around finally after being queued to. But when he turned to see them comfortable on his bed, he realized the school work was part of the reason they panicked.

He quickly sat down next to them, and handed them the marker, "Is the school work too much?" He was met by a nod. "Okay, how about I turn on your favorite show and then you can draw on me?"

(Y/N) nodded, Tommy ran around setting up Netflix on his computer. Pressing play, he got back on his bed. (Y/N) sat on his left, their legs in his lap. (Y/N) held his left hand drawing on it. Tommy ignored it, working on two sets of homework.

By the end of the show, the only thing (Y/N) had to genuinely worry about was the test that was coming up. Tommy looked at his arm, it was a beautiful mosaic. Tommy cancelled the stream for that day.

Tommyinnit: Hey, swamped with schoolwork. Stream cancelled for tonight, will stream tomorrow!