Battle Field

Twelve

I wake up suddenly in sweat and tears. I had another night terror but instead of me killing the boy from 2 in my games, it was me getting killed. Finnick behind the knife. I couldn't breathe when I woke up. My head was pounding and my heart was going a thousand miles a minute. "It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." I repeated like a mantra to myself. "C'mon Harmony. You're okay." I then repeated to myself, "You're ok. You're ok. You're ok." I clicked my assistance button. Ren instantly came in. "I was just wondering if I could get some water or something." I said stumbling on my words. I was still having a hard time catching my breath. He hurried out and came back with a bottle of water and ice in a rag. "Hold the ice in your hand. It helps with anxiety attacks." He says placing the ice cubes in my hand and handing the bottle to my other hand. I slowly start to catch my breath. I took a sip of my water and saw Ren beside me with one hand on my shoulder and one on my bed next to me. "Thank you." I say quietly. He just nods and gives a comforting smile. I see Plutarch let himself into my room. "Ren if you could give us a minute." He tells him. Ren looks back at me, "If you need anything just press the call button again. Okay?" I nod and he walks out. "Did I do something wrong?" I ask. It had already been 2 days since the wedding, I wouldn't know why it'd take this long to give me a stern talking to. "Ms. Odair, Finnick has just flew to the front lines along with Katniss and a squad we have down there for our propos. I'm just coming to inform you that we would like for you to join them." He says. "You mean the front lines of the war? With the rebellion?" I ask. "That's right. Now, Peeta is for sure going but all we need is an answer from you and you'll be on your way later today."
I didn't want Finnick to be alone during this. I didn't want Peeta to be alone either. He's getting better but he's not there yet. It was a war zone and I'm still not even a month pregnant. But I have to be there for them. "Finnick and I or Peeta and I don't do anything without each other." Is all I said. "I know that doesn't really make sense but I need to be there with Peeta. And I'm so close to fixing things with Finnick." I say. "And Katniss?" He asks. Her name makes my hairs go up. "She's not a problem. Hasn't been this far."

The plane ride was long but I slept through most of it again since this would probably be the last chance I get to sleep with no disruptions. After landing at the base Peeta and I are escorted into a truck which was to drive us to our squad. Katniss, Gale, Boggs, Jackson, Castor, Pollux, Cressida, and a couple others. "My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from district 12." Peeta whispers to himself. That became his mantra. I reach my arm around him and rub his arm. He starts to calm down a bit. "You okay?" I ask. He just nods. "What are you afraid of?" I ask. "Ruining everything here." He says. I knew that feeling. I've known that feeling since the first time Finnick actually talked to me face to face. "You still care about me?" He asks. I quickly look to him, surprised by the question. "Peeta, with whatever happens, I love you." I finally say back. "I'm sorry I didn't say it back when you told me but I'm just terrified of getting hurt." After I say that he just holds my hands. "I will do whatever I can to make you comfortable when I can." He says.

Peeta fell asleep on my shoulder until we went over a bump. He woke up and then we both heard from the driver and passenger soldiers that we were close to squad 451. "That's us." I say. I see Peeta self soothing again but I let him self soothe since we come to a stop. The passenger exits his door and comes to open the back door to let us out. I stepped off first then Peeta. "My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from district 12." He says keeping his head down. We walk around the truck to see the squad standing and waiting. Katniss grabbed an arrow as soon as she saw us. Peeta kept repeating his statement under his breath. We walked up slowly until Katniss pulled back and aimed at us. Finnick got in the middle of us both. "Hold up. Everyone relax." He says mostly to Katniss. "What are we doing?" Gale asks who I've learned was Boggs and his second. "Jackson cuff em." I hear him say. Jackson comes up and cuffs Peeta first. Then me. "Soldiers, this is just a precaution till we can get everything straightened out. Yeah?" She states while she cuffs us. "Yes ma'am." I say on behalf of Peeta and I. Peeta still self soothing. "Are you sure we need to cuff Harmony, she was fine before. She was uncuffed and a danger to nobody-" Finnick says but I interrupt. "Finnick it's fine. If it's what they want and it's for everyone's safety then I'm fine with it." I say. Jackson looks at me and Finnick. "I'll keep you cuffed just for today. Tomorrow I'll ask Boggs what he thinks." She says. I just nod until we're escorted inside.

We were sat in front of these female twins and another soldier was on our side. "They want us to add them to the propo." I just look to Peeta who's watching the conversation. "Show that they're on our side now. We'll move forward a few blocks tomorrow and shoot the new footage." Boggs tells everyone. "He's not in control of himself." Gale adds. "Not like Harmony."
"I say we schedule an around-the-clock watch on him. The leegs till 1700, homes and Mitchell till 1900." Jackson says. Funny how nobody second guesses me. "Give me a watch." We hear Katniss add and the room goes quiet. "And if it really came down to it, you think you could shoot him?" Jackson asks. "I wouldn't be shooting peeta. Id be killing a capitol mutt." She says not even looking at Peeta direction. I can see that comment hurt Peeta a bit. I mean that's all I've felt like the past few weeks. A Mutt. "I'm not sure that kind of a comment recommends you for the job, either, soldier." Jackson tries to argue but Boggs made the final call, "Put her in the rotation." Before he walks outside. Katniss follows. I look at Finnick in the corner and he looks confused towards us. "I couldn't let you fight in these games alone." Is all I say to him. He walks up to me and hugs me. I didn't like the feeling of it today but I keep it in.

We slept where we were for the night I was beside Peeta  and we were across from Finnick and Jackson. Katniss was beside us. I couldn't sleep the faint sounds of bombs that we far enough away to not be a danger, still made me anxious. I just laid there. "We've been here before, you know." I hear Peeta say. "What?" Katniss replies.  "That look. I've seen that look. You're trying to decide whether or not you should kill me." He says. I turn up on my back and turn my head towards them. "I never wanted to kill you. And that's not what I'm doing." Katniss dismisses. "I saw it with my own eyes. In the first games."
"In the first games, I thought you were trying to help the careers kill me. After that, I always saw you as an ally." I look in front of me to see Finnick waking up from the conversation. "Friend, lover, Victor, fiancee, enemy, target, mutt. And now ally? Yeah, I'll add that to the list of words I use to try to figure you out." Peeta says distressed. He looked as conflicted as when we were saved by Gale and Boggs. He snapped back to and looks down. "I'm sorry. I just can't tell what's real and what's made up anymore." He says. "Then ask." Finnick adds. I sit up a bit more to him talking. "It's what Annie and Harmony do." Finnick and Peeta look at me. "It's helped clear things up." I add sitting myself up a bit more. "Ask who?" Peeta looks at Finnick "Us. We're your unit now." Jackson adds who I never noticed was up this whole time till I sat up. "Your favorite color is green. Is that real?" He asks her.
"Yeah. That's real. Yours is orange. Not bright orange. Soft, like the sunset." She responds. "Thank you." Peeta replies and gives a glance to me. "You're a painter. You're a Baker. You always sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. You always double-knot your shoelaces." She continues. She gives me a glare for a minute then looks at Jackson while standing up. "You were right. I can't do this." She says while walking away. I look to Finnick who gave me a look back before laying back down. I slump down a bit more again and close my eyes. When I feel Peeta scoot closer to me, I open my eyes and lean my head on his shoulder. "You'll get through this." Is all I tell him. I feel him nod and take a deep breath. In reality I didn't know if any of us would get through this.