Light

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•Phil's POV•

Waking up everyday where someone is constantly getting thrown to the ground and being told that they're worthless is not something most people picture their lives to be. Sadly for me, that thought is the nightmare that is my life. Everyday I have to deal with this never ending cycle from the consistent pain everyone around gives me. Whether it's insults, punches, kicks, getting thrown, pushed, tripped, stepped on, spit on, and just receiving day to day punishments I don't even deserve. My life consists of constant battles I have to face between my dad, my peers at school, sometimes random people I don't even know, and myself. No matter how hard I try not to cause trouble, people always stir it up for me, causing me to be the one left with nothing but pain and heartache. No matter where the pain is coming from, I always feel it. It's always there pulsing against every bruise or stinging against every scar or repeating the insults through my broken mind, It's always there haunting me and reminding me that my life is a mess that can't be cleaned. Sometimes I don't even see the point of continuing if everyone around me keeps reminding me how much better everything would be if I was no longer alive. It's sad to say, but I believe them. Everything would be better if I wasn't there constantly reminding everyone of how much of a screw up I've become and no matter how hard I try to change these thoughts, things never change. Nothing will ever change because I'm just a broken soul that is already too far gone. Nothing will ever change.

I walk though the hallways of my High School. This place is literally the worst place I can be. Not because of the teachers or the work or anything, but because I'm alone. I'm alone in a place where having someone is very important. Even if I just had one person who occasionally would talk to me I would feel the slightest bit better but sadly I don't even have that. I let out a deep sigh as I walk down to where I have my science class. I like science. I get to experience new things and some times set things on fire, but I don't usually worry about that. I worry to the fact that Shane might be there, ready to begin his torment he has planned for me. Shane Dawson is what you would call the typical bully. He's tall, aggressive, sarcastic, rude, and if anyone is different he makes sure to point it out and hurt them for it. Shane is the main bully in my school, well in my grade at least. He's always going around tormenting kids who are different and is always giving everyone a hard time, and I happen to be his number one target. He doesn't do it alone though. His side kicks, well main friends, are Joey Graceffa and PJ Liguori, and then bunch of other kids who join the beating. I hate how they think it's alright to pick on others just because they don't like who they are or what they like. It's wrong yet they never get caught because either people are too scared to stand up to Shane in fear he will treat them the way he treats me, or they are allies with him. It really sucks and I hate it.

I walk up to the door of my class room. I take a deep breath before peaking into the room to see if anyone is there. Empty, good. I walk in and I take my normal seat to the side near a window that views the field. I like sitting here because I'm away from everyone and sometimes I like looking out into the field to try to calm myself down. Sometimes I daze off and I start thinking about life, thinking about how pathetic and messed up mine is. I hate when I think too much because then I start hurting myself, not that I don't get that from everyone else. I sit here as I wait for class to begin. I always get to class early because I'm too scared to stay out in the hallways but sometimes staying in the classroom isn't a great idea either. I jump to the sudden noise that rings through out the classroom, realizing that it's just the bell and I relax slightly. I sigh as I shake my head at myself. I hate how easily startled I get. I felt my self start to shake as everyone enters the classroom. I sink down once Shane and Joey enter. I go turn my focus  away when my eyes focus on someone. I sit back up to get a better view of him, tilting my head as i exam him. I don't think I have ever seen him before, he must be new. I'm not going to lie but he was sort of attractive. I have a feeling he would become instantly popular, and if that happens, he will join the crowd of people who hate me. Fun... What is funny is that he sort of reminds me of Light from Death Note. Actually they look almost identical. They both are tall and slim, have brown hair that swoops to the side, dark brown eyes, both attractive. He could literally play as him if they made a real life death note.

Everyone else takes there seats as the new boy stands there confused of where to sit. I would offer him a seat beside me but no one wants to deal with me. Plus he would never waste his time with someone like me. I glance around the room and the only seat left was beside me.

Oh god, of course next to me. Now he can see first hand of how much of a freak I and my life is.

Even though I know that there is no way we would ever become friends, I can't seem to take my gaze off him. I don't know what his name is so I'll just call him Light for now. Light was really tall and really well tanned. I liked the way his hair swoops over and covers his left eye. He stood on a slouch and he was big. Not chubby big, but really tall big. He's really attractive as well.

Don't even think about that Phil...

I get pulled back into reality as I felt a hand slap my back.

"You eyeing the new boy Faggot?" Shane asks. I quickly look away from Light and turn my focus towards the ground.

"No... I was just-" I choke. It's too early for this.

"We all know you are a faggot. You don't need to hide it." Shane states and walks back over to his friends. He comments something which makes them laugh behind me. I face forward and pull my knees up to my chest. I wrap my arms around them and rest my head into them, as well as trying to fight back tears. I don't want to cry at school. Then they all will make fun of me even more. I hate what they have done to me. I felt paper hit the back of my head, followed with some laughing. I don't dare to turn around though.

Our teacher, Mr. Jefferson, finally enters and tells the class to quiet down. He walks over to his desk and takes a seat. He turns towards Light.

"Alright, you are Daniel Howell correct?" He asks.

Daniel, his name is Daniel.

"Yeah that's me, but just call me Dan please." Daniel reassures. Dan. I liked it. I also like his voice. It was low and confident and sounded really hot... Mr. Jefferson scans the classroom.

"Alright Dan, why don't you take a seat next to Phil right there?" He says as he points next to me. My heart stopped as I heard my name. I could hear Shane and his friends snicker in the back. Dan nods his head and walks from the front and sits down beside me. I've never felt my heart beat this fast before, besides when I'm in the hallways trying to avoid Shane and his gang, only to bump straight into them and ending up getting a beating. Or when I'm at home. Maybe this is a good thing that Dan got placed next to me? Maybe he might have an interest in me and might actually want to be my friend. I doubt I though. I haven't had a friend for as long as I can remember so the chances of me making one, are very low. Who knows, maybe something will change. I can't be lonely forever, right?



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(If this story seems familiar it's because I'm xphanficx (used to be xxyoutubefanficxx) on Instagram :D )

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