Strawberry Season [Karushuu]

Chapter 12

(P.O.V : Karma)

He lead me into the main-building. I couldn't stop thinking of much I despised this place, including the people in it. I was following his lead - I knew where the cafeteria was from my past. The way felt longer and much more dull than it used to be. My feet had to drag me behind him - my rival. His wide shoulders were uptight, his head held up high - pride covering his whole body.
'You better make this a worthwhile trip.'
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When we arrived, he told me to take a seat and so I did - with my feet on the table, knowing that it would attract attention. A smirk was resting on my lips as I faced Asano. His annoyed sigh filled me with joy.
"I'm sorry, I'll take them down for you but I figured that this school is already as dirty as it can possibly get - I was just trying to match that image!~"
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"Akabane,"
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"Yes?~"
I interrupted him.
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"I was surprised to read your name on the list of students."
He tried to reopen the conversation and placed a plate filled with some extravagant food. I rubbed my nose at the amount of money wasted on school food.
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"Ah yes, it's good to hear that you're able to read. I was questioning your reading skills after the finals."
I took the knife and fork and stabbed it into the crusty surface of the meat.
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"The new principal asked me to keep you under my watch. You got already several reports from the teachers about your behavior during class."
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"So you'll be taking care of me? How sweet - I'll /try/ to be a good boy!~"
The smirk was still wide on my lips as I began to eat.
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"I'm sure you will,"
Asano said full of confidence. I couldn't wait to crush him - again.
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"Really? And what if I can't live up to your standards?~"
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"Don't worry about that, I'll make sure you will."

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I couldn't stop myself from repeating this conversation over and over in my head, trying to find peace within myself. I was questioning whether or not his efforts were true. How badly I hoped his embrace and words were nothing but honest, yet something deep within myself doubted it.
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"I love him."
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That was a fact I needed to accept as soon as possible. Every move he made, every word he said had me captured. I wanted to be able to rely on my heart but it has been /only/ a couple of months. It pained me to imagine him playing with my feelings in order to get to me, in order to /control/ me.
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I knew growing up wouldn't be easy, especially with no one here to guide me. The last /person/ I put my trust into isn't here anymore. My heart is completely torn and worn out, it's not something to wish for. Even if someone longs for it, getting myself to trust them will be a process only time can decide. Asano, no Gakushū is striving towards perfection - and I'm not perfect at all. My grades may be perfect, but my insecurities and trust issues are still part of me - even after Koro-sensei's death.
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'I'll never live up to his current standards-'
At least not without changing myself. I narrowed my eyes at this certain thought. He told me not to change myself in order to please him, yet that's what I need to do to reach his heart. I'm no damsel in distress, nor am I feminine in /any/ kind of way. 'How should someone like me obtain the heart of someone as charming as him?'
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He did act comfortable around me, but I knew that my behavior might get him in trouble.

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I entered the principal's office with a grin on my face and walked towards his desk. Asano was already sitting there as the principal asked me to sit down on the chair next to him. I knew what he was going to address on that day.
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"Akabane-kun, please explain to me why you beat up the son of your Japanese teacher?"
His expression was quite stern and he tried to sound as serious as possible.
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"Simple, he has been bullying some kids from junior high because of their origin."
I explained while rocking my chair backwards and forwards.
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"And why didn't you report it to the staff?"
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I stopped and leaned onto the table to look right into his eyes.
"By all means, Sir - You are advising me entrusting a matter of safety to the staff that taught kids during our former principal's reign? The staff that supported selective discrimination and bullying within their own workplace?"
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I tell by observing the principal's body language that he was nervous, uncertain how to respond. I leaned back again, thinking that I - once again - brought up an unbeatable explanation.
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"But you think by beating up her son you achieved peace and order which prevent this from happening again?"
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Of course Asano had to comment on this.
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"Violence spreads fear and distrust amongst others - No matter how righteous you want to defend your actions, you can't deny that what you just did won't solve this issue as a whole - If it was useful for anything, then nothing other but the spread of insecurities."
He said in a smug, hypocritical undertone.
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"But who else will solve this issue? These pretty words of yours are full of nonsense regarding this matter. You will need to use certain measures to clean a rotten place like this!"
I flashed my teeth at the strawberry-blonde male I'm facing.
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"Measures which /exclude/ violence-"
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"Asano-kun."
He turned his face to the principal who just spoke up, interrupting the conversation between us.
"I told you to keep an eye on him - It will have consequences, for /both/ of you, if something like this ever happens again."
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Asano nodded and I put a pleased smirk on my face.
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"Akabane-kun, 2 weeks of detention for you. You're free to leave."
I jumped back onto my feet, walked pass Asano and trotted out of the office - knowing that whatever happens next would be worth walking on rotten grounds.

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I used to view the principal's decision as a good thing, but now it started to feel wrong. If I would continue to live the way I used to, Asano would pay for my actions. I couldn't care less about the punishments the principal gave me - but I did care about Asano. He became dear to me and even now - as I was not able to fully support his ways of handling certain issues - I knew that I had to trust him, the same way was trusting me. I could get him into some serious trouble and drive him insane, but the thrill I used to feel while thinking about it faded away. Unlike my feelings for him. He was trying so hard to please everyone that he forgot to be true to himself.
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'If he lets me, I will make sure that /both/ of us will survive our senior years. Somehow we gotta work together, as a team.'