My Secret Diaries

Chapter 13

--Lukes POV--

"Y-You want me to leave?"

"Of course not Luke. I don't care if you're curious or have your own reasons for needing to see those videos or need to know what happened over the last seven years. What I do care about is the fact that you didn't care enough about me to respect me." She turned around and grabbed my hand.

"But I do respect you!"

"Then prove it! Stop sneaking around behind my back and stop making me feel like my own emotions mean nothing!"

"How can I prove that?"

"You can't.. because you broke my trust.. It would have been a different story if it was just you but you involved David, Tomi, James, Brad and even Elizabeth. I love all of them and I really love you but I really feel like I'm recieveing none of that love back."

"If we didn't love you, we wouldn't be here." I stood up and cupped her face.

"That's a lie.. I already figured you were here out of boredom. With the pandemic, there's nothing else to do remember?" She dropped my hand and sat down on the bed.

"It's not a lie. If I didn't love you I wouldn't have needed to know what happened when I was gone. I didn't mean to cause you any pain." I knelt down in front of her.

"You're just saying whatever you think I want to hear at this point." She grabbed my face and laid her forehead against mine.

"I'm not! I'm telling you the truth. How can I prove it to you?" as she pulled away I closed the space between us and pulled my head back. Fear was filling my soul as my eyes wandered down from her eyes to her lips, then her neck, then rested on her chest, falling and rising as she was breathing.

"Please.." She whispered. My eyes lifted and matched with hers. Our eyes met and I felt my heart spark. She still had this effect on me with simple eye contact.

"What can I do to show you how much I love you?" I couldn't push the words out any louder then a whisper. She sat there completely still, my hand wandered from the bed till it met hers. Her hands were soft, small and felt fragile but I knew she was anything but.

I moved my free hand up her arm, my body moving of it's own accord. It was doing what I wanted but my own emotions seemed to fuel my movements more then my head could anymore. She let go of my hand and traced my own arm till finally resting on my shoulder. I then moved that hand and grabbed ahold of her waist. She lifted her head more, allowing me to see she was not emotionless, that's the only thing she had in her. She brought her hand to my face, moving my hair out of my face. After playing with my hair she rested her small hand on my chest, feeling my heart beat pound at her touch. She moved in closer, not allowing my eyes to travel her body.

I couldn't fight my heart and closed my eyes as I felt her breath on my lips. Her breath was hot and smelt similar to vanilla and chocolate. Not being able to resist, I pressed my lips into hers. The second our lips touched, my head began to spin, my stomach fluttered and my body went limp. Her every move had control of my body. She reached her hand up to my neck pulling me in closer, my own hand mimicked hers. My eyes remained close as she opened her mouth allowing me to enter, our tongues moving as one. She grabbed the hair at the base of my neck making me growl with pleasure earning a smirk from her. Before I could allow my body to do any more, I pulled back.

"What's wrong?" She panted still holding onto my neck.

"I can't do this.. not if you think I don't love you.." I opened my eyes, she was right in front of me, I could have all of her if I wanted, but I would never have her heart if I had continued.