THE LIGHT TO YOUR DARK

Introduction and Awkwardness

I don't do well with new feelings. I hate the thought of trusting someone else with a part of oneself that they so easily could destroy. I hate the thought of giving someone untrustworthy the power over me. Noone should be able to control my emotions except me.

And Netflix.

                                                                                                                                                             -Ezelynn

I wait near the teacher's desk for him to sign the slip. My stomach is in knots and I'm pretty sure that I have almost sprained my fingers by the way I am twisting them right now.

I am hyperaware of all the sets of eyes on me right now. I can almost hear their thoughts, wondering who I am... 

Frankly, I had expected a bit of attention. Before coming to Brooksburg I had researched about the town and had concluded that it was one of those close-knit towns where everyone knows.......well everyone. And even Mrs Dennis' reaction to me joining on short notice made me sure that it was uncommon for random students to join here. It is one of those towns where people spend their whole lives and having people coming is as uncommon as people going. Still, I was not comfortable with this much attention, it made my skin crawl. Back in New York, I had a small group of friends and I was content with them and even my parents were very strict with who I interacted with.

The professor finally finishes signing the paper and hands it to me. He is tall and lanky, with a rectangular face and a trimmed beard. His face is covered by rectangular spectacles which make his eyes look bigger than they are. Not in a freaky way like Trelawney, just big. He has curly blond hair which reaches just past his ears. He gives me a small but warm and welcoming smile and I smile back while he gives the room a once over and then nods towards me and directs me towards the third bench. I follow quietly my gaze never wandering from the desk and I sit down still refraining from eye contact with anyone. 

The first period passed without any extra attention.

Phew.

Although the period is not over yet I am optimistic to hope that there is no more attention directed towards me. There is still the whole day left.

"Hello, kids." The teacher begins with a smile. "I'm Mr Keith Andrews but you can call me Mr Keith or Mr Andrews either both or nothing will work. I am here to teach you English for the rest of the year. Although I know that most of you are gonna take it lightly still I'll try my best to not make you fall asleep in the class. So Mr Clarke please try not to tire yourself before the first class of every day." He said to a blonde guy sitting at the last bench wearing a basketball jersey. The guy just smirked in response.

Mr Keith just shook his head and continued telling about the syllabus we were to cover this year.

I hang the bag on the side of my chair and take out the book which he was instructing us to start with and open the first page as he delves into the curriculum for the year with marks and examinations and all that.

And immediately I feel my mind drifting.

To Gideon.

As much as I laud myself for taking the reins of my newly originating emotions I feel guilty for leaving him there like that after all, he was just talking to me. How is it his fault that I am suddenly attracted to him?

Although I feel guilty I do not want to spend much time with him again, my parents have just died and I am trying to gather my own bits and pieces.  I am not ready to experience any kind of strong feelings for anyone. I am just not ready. My wounds are still fresh and my heart still shattered. Moreover, now that they are gone the wall around me is stronger than ever. Most people feel this way after they've broken up with someone but for me, my life revolved around my parents. They were my closest companion and I know without a doubt that I was their world too. Sure they had some secrets that they kept to themselves but that didn't make them any less valuable to me.