Where's Elliot?

Reasons.

Olivia was thinking about the kiss, all night she thought to herself why she had kissed him back, why it felt so wrong yet so right. It was a mess. 11:20pm Olivia had gotten home, 20 minutes later there was a knock at the door, she went to get it to see it was Elliot, she turned around quietly. He knocked again twice. She turned back around to answer it. She opened it. Elliot came in and kissed her unexpectedly, Olivia pushed Elliot.
"What the hell?!" Olivia yelled. Elliot came closer again and kissed her again. Olivia pushed once more.
"Stop el.." Olivia said moving away.
"I'm sorry..." He said looking away. Olivia walked away to the kitchen.
"Liv...do you have any kind of feeling for me?" Elliot asked. Olivia looked at Elliot.
"What makes you say that?" Olivia questioned. Elliot closed the door behind him and walked in the kitchen.
"You..pushed me and then kissed me back." Elliot said looking at her.
"Your my partner." Olivia said quietly.
"You kissed me because I'm your partner" Elliot said laughing. Olivia grabbed the bottle of vodka from the cabinet.
"Liv..simple question do you have feelings for me or do you not." Elliot asked seriously. Olivia drank from the bottle and slammed it on the counter.
"I don't know Elliot do I? I mean when you went MIA I found you I tried you didn't want to be found. So do I have fucking feelings for you.MAYBE I DO MAYBE I DONT. You left me without saying goodbye..just like last time.,.but it wasn't 3 years. So I don't know Elliot you tell me" Olivia said with anger. She wanted to say more but had to keep it in. Elliot got up and moved near Olivia, trying to hug her.
"Don't touch me!" Olivia said moving away from the touch of Elliot. Elliot tried one more time, she pushed him again, Olivia started to cry hysterically.
"I had to leave Liv.." Elliot said softly. Olivia chuckled.
"Yeah because you love me and you couldn't do it, couldn't stand the fact that you couldn't have me...right" Olivia said coldly. Elliot stood there not replying. "You could have done it differently instead of leaving... I usually wouldn't want you to leave...but I actually want you to leave." Olivia added. Elliot tried touching her, but she kept moving further and further away.
"I'm sorry Liv..I really am.." Elliot said walking to the door. "I love you" Elliot whispered. Olivia heard but ignored it.
-Olivia's-
POV
I love Elliot I do but he left, I can forgive him, I choose not to because I will only get hurt by him again, he shows up at my door and kisses me like it was nothing. I know I kissed him...but..i don't know..I wanted to know what if felt like, to kiss someone that loves you. I'm not saying nobody loves me, but someone who has always loved me. I am just pushing him away, and pretty soon it will be too far. The thing is, I love Elliot, I love him so much I want to shout it. I'll forgive him when I'm ready, but how would you feel if someone was gone for months and they came back and told you they loved you. Your world keeps spinning and spinning and its a non stop roller coaster. Elliot said he loved me tonight, and I just pulled away. Why? I will never know why.