Adopted by Billie Eilish

10

When we walk inside of the house, I immediately hear little paws hitting the ground. I look up and see Shark and Pepper rushing up to me. Surprised, I let out a shriek and hold my backpack in front of me like a shield as they jump up on me. Billie laughs at this.

"It's not funny!" I say. "I'm getting mauled to death over here, Billie! You're just gonna stand there and let me suffer?"

She hurries over and gently pushes the dogs off of me, her body shaking with silent laughter. I lower the backpack and swing it over my shoulder.

"You good now?" she asks me, biting her lip in order to prevent herself from a loud burst of laughter. I can see her trying to hold it in. And I'm going to make her slip.

"Yes, I'm okay. Might as well give knives to them and let them loose towards me.

"PFFFFFFFT!" She lets out the loudest laugh I've heard, only it doesn't really sound like a laugh. It sounds a bit like a motorbike with a dead engine trying to start. This makes me chuckle.

"Oh, my gosh," she says, wiping her eyes. "Um, let's get you to your room, okay?"

I nod. "Yes. Oh, please protect me from th' murderers in thine home."

"What, you speaking Shakespeare now?"

I nod. "Yeah. You and I both know that the author didn't know what to put, and so my interest is Shakespeare because of that."

"Ah, okay," Billie says with a smile. "Well, thank you author for making the lamest poet ever my daughter's greatest interest. That'll take a while to get used to."

"Yeah. I'm excited. Let's go see my room!"

She begins to walk towards a bedroom. She opens the door, and together we walk in.

"Wow," I say, breathless.

It's a room painted bright green with a giant Blohsh painted black against the wall over the bed with sharp, defined lines. The comforter of the bed is green-and-black stripes, as well as the pillows. Next to the bed is a nightstand with a lamp and a digital clock. There's a desk in the corner with a MacBook Pro set up, as well as a few notebooks in the corner, plus a cup filled with pens and pencils. There's a piano set up next to the desk with an acoustic guitar set in a single-guitar-sized guitar rack. LED lights are encircling the entire room at the top, the remote for the lights on top of the nightstand.

"Do you like it?" she asks me.

"No I say."

"I love it!"

She lets out a relieved laugh. "For a second there, I thought that you actually didn't like it!"

"It's wonderful!"

I flop down onto the bed, but let out a small shriek when I find out it's a waterbed. She laughs. I sigh happily as I get adjusted to the feeling of the bed.

"Yup! This is the life for me!"

"Okay then! Uh, what would you like for lunch?"

"What do you have?"

"Well, considering that I ordered 70 boxes of Froot Loops, you can have some of that," she says awkwardly. "You're okay with cereal, right?"

"Honestly, I'm okay with anything. I'm so hungry, I could probably eat you. Hey, maybe I'll hire the dogs to help me!"

She backs away, holding up her hands in defense. "I'll be out in the kitchen. Lunch'll be in a few minutes since I'm making myself a good old burrito! Holler if you need me!"

"Okay. And thank you again for everything."

"No problem. See you in a few!"

She walks out of the room. I readjust myself on the bed and put my head on the pillow, closing my eyes.

I can already tell this is going to be amazing.

A/N: Yeah, so I broke the 4th wall. I found it funny and didn't know what else to do soooo *MAJOR CRINGE*