Diary of a Little Bitch

Who's Your Waifu

Hi, my name is Greg Heffley.
I'm in 8th grade and made the worst mistake in my life.
If your reading this, I'm probably dead, or I just lost my journal.
Either way, I'm now in prison.

You may be wondering how I got into this mess, well since I'm servibg three life sentences, I've got all the time in the world to tell you my story.

It started as a normal day in my normal life.
Holly Hills was ignoring me, and I was cracking off jokes with my best friend, Rowley, to try and get her attention.
The past peace be with you handshake didn't work, so I was going for a more comedic route.

The school day ended like it does everyday, and I walked home with Rowley.
"Greg?" Rowley said.
"Yeah?"
"How do you feel about...yaoi?"

I stopped walking and stared at him.
He was fidgeting with his hands and avoiding eye contact.
"How do you know what yaoi is? Arent your parents really strict?"
"Yeah," Rowley said. "But I used an incognito tab on my dads computer, I heard someone say it at school."

I stayed silent and let him continue.
"I asked what it meant and he said that he and his gang will meet me behind the school after classes are over for bothering them."

Rowley started to cry.

"What am I gonna do, Greg?! I'm gonna get beat up or maybe killed!! OVER YAOI!!!"
"Hey calm down, I'm sure we can tell the principal." I said while patting him on the head.
I could've sworn in that moment that I heard him purr, but I just assumed it was my imagination.
"I suppose.."

Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea.
An idea which had never been thought up by anyone before.
An idea so amazing, even speaking of it would cause global warming and climate change to come to an end.

"Lets rent out some motorcycles and beat theyre asses." I said.

And with that we formed a plan to save the school, and save my best friend.

At least that's what I thought the plan was.