Tips on how to be mataray like me

How to talk back to pilosopo's in a bitchy way and how to be a pilosopo

Tip #1

Pag may tinanong kang:

"Saan ka galing?"

At ang sinagot sa'yo ay:

"Sa nanay ko."

Eto ang dapat sabihin:

"Stupid! Why don't you do some research and find out where you REALLY came from!"

"Anong pinagsasabi mo, eh sa nanay ko naman talaga ako galing!" -her/him

Answer this:

"Ang pagkaka alam ko sa sperm ka ng dad mo galing. Bakit hindi ka makinig sa teacher mo sa science para malaman mo."

Tip #2

(i don't think this is a pilosopo way. But yeah! Who cares?!)

When someone say's sorry and you didn't want to accept it:

"Claire, i'm sorry! Please forget everything i've said and done." -someone

You simply say:

"I can forgive but not forget. And to tell you this, if you were on my place. Would you easily forget the shits i've done to you? What, like there's a miracle thats going to happen and you'll suddenly have amnesia and forget things i've done to you?"

"I'm not asking you to forgive me easily and to forget everything easily like what you've been thinking of the whole time."

Answer this:

"Well you know what, bitch! Since you weren't asking me to actually forgive you easily. Why should you even bother? All I wanted was for you to beg and be sincere but you had to be mean?"

If you see her mouth open and about to say something, stop her and tell her this:

"I forgive not to forget. But to make new memories and to take the bitterness away. For me to know if we really are OK, and you are NOT just here to be one of my NEW FAKE FRIEND! So fucking live with it! I don't even want you as a friend!"

BANG! Bitch alert! XD

Tip #3

When someone bullies you because you're to quiet and doesn't say a word when they tell you craps:

"Alam mo bang lahat ng taong tahimik, mabangis pag nagalit?" Look him/her in the eye, lift your brows and smile. An evil one of course. And it might actually work.

Tip #4

Paano ba magsinungalin ang mga katulad ko?

Lie #1

"Can i borrow some money from you?" -a friend

"Ah. Wala akong pera, eh. Mag tataxi pa kasi ako mamaya."

To make the LIE work. Look her/him in the eye. Don't look down to your left or right. Just the eye. And it will actually work. Kung sinabihan kang...

"Ang damot!"

Sabihin mo:

"Ulol! Kahit ikaw alam ko namang hindi ka rin magpapahiram saakin ng pera kapag may pupuntahan ka, eh! Ano?! Ikaw lang may karapatan!?"

Heyoo! I'm sorry for the very short and crappy update! I've been busy for our prom, eh! I need to choose out some outfits! So yeah. Next update is all about LIES!

XOXO