Tips on how to be mataray like me

More Tips

Some more TIPS

2015 na! Kelangan na bumalik sa ONE

Tip 1:

Pano lumaban sa mga friends mong alam mo namang walang kwenta ang sasabihin

"Hi, Claire!" -plastik 1

Pretend that you didn't see her and walk past her

"Claire!" -plastik

"Oh, what?" -Me

"Alam mo ba may bago akong boyfriend at ang dami kong sasabihin sa'yo! Tapo-" Wag mo siyang patapusin!

"Alam mo kung wala namang kwenta ang sasabihin mo at puro tungkol sa'yo lang ang sasabihin mo, mas maganda nang kausapin mo nalang ang sarili mo sa salamin kasi wala naman akong pake. Or mas maganda pang mamatay nalang muna ako tsaka mo ako kwentuhan. Oh wait! Wag na kasi baka bigla nalang tumayo ang mga patay doon at mag walk out bigla. Wala ka kasing kwenta mag kwento. Buti sana kung may sense eh.

TIP 2:

Kung ginagawa kang human credit card ng "Friends" mo

"Claire! Libre mo naman ako, oh! 50 pesos lang naman yun!"-friend 1

"Oo nga!" -lahat sila

Eto ang dapat sabihin at gawin:

Kunin mo ang wallet mo at ibigay sakanila

"Oh, kunin ni'yo na lahat! Alam ko namang ginagamit ni'yo lang ako kasi mas mayaman ako keysa sainyo! Nakakaawa kasi kayo kaya donation ko nalang yang wallet pati pera. Siguro naman sapat na yan, para tuluyan niyo na akong layuan. Kasi hindi ko kailangan ng mga kaibigang wala namang kwenta at puro pera lang ang habol sakin."

TIP 3:

Pag merong manliligaw sa'yo at naiirita ka na

"Claire? Kelan mo ba ako sasagutin?"

Eto ang tamang isagot:

"Kung gusto mong sagutin kita, magpalapa ka sa aso! Yung may rabis para tuluyan ka nang mawala. Pag nabuhay ka, sige bibigyan kita ng chance. KUNG mabuhay ka. At kung mabuhay ka man ay ipapasagasa kita sa kotse para mas masaya."

TIP 4:

Minamanyak ka ng mga classmates mo

"Wow, sexy! Laki ng pwet!" -manyak na nga at panget pa 1

"Wit-wiw"

Eto ang dapat mong sabihin:

"Tigilan niyo nga ako. Pag hindi kayo tumigil papalapa ko kayo sa bakla kong mga kaibigan!"

"Mas gusto nga namin yun, eh!" -sila

"Kung ganon, maghahanap nalang ako ng baklang may sakit na aids para mamatay nalang ang mga manyak na katulad niyo!"

TIP 5

How to seduce persons:

#1 Look into his eyes with intensity and lust, and to make it work. You need to think that you wan't to eat him, that you'll own him anytime soon. Don't let anything distract you, or nothing will work. Straight in the eyes and to his soul.

#2 Lick your lower lip. And when his attention is on it- you need to... (Refer to #3)

#3 Bite your lower lip, it will make him copy the same way you bit yours ;) (If he bites his lips also, it means it worked. If NOT, try harder)

#4 Walk toward him with confidence, in brings more hot aura into you. (works everytime)

#5 Touch his shoulders and gently massage it. When you feel him flinch or wince you'll know it already worked.

What if it doesn't work?

#1 MAYBE because your not good enough.

#2 His GAY.

#3 He RESPECTS YOU.

#4 He DOESN'T know anything about SEX.

#5 He DOESN'T like you.

#6 He has a DIFFERENT way of getting seduced.

#7 He HAS a GIRLFRIEND.

#8 His NOT INTERESTED.

#9 His PLAYING HARD TO GET

#10 He DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN

So anyway. My bitchiness is back from her beauty sleep and I'm going to update more. Bye!