The Boy With The Blue Eyes

Im good at destroying myself Chapter 10

WARNING: MIGHT BE TRIGGERING

*1 month later*

Me and Luke have gotten more closer sometimes I'll sleep at his place or he'll sleep at mines or we will go out and have adventures. I haven't met his parents though, he says they're love me but I say not I'll ran away and hide every time he brings this up, I just can't I'm a failure I'll fail his parents, I'll get anxious and my heart starts breathing fast that I break down and start crying my ass off and Luke finally realize I wasn't ready.

So now I'm in my room just laying in my bed my depression has returned after all this days I have blocked it so I can be able to be with Luke and be happy for once. But now that I'm alone with my thoughts shits about to go down, never leave me alone with my dark thoughts and since I have blocked them for so long they returned much more darker... Help me please.
I start to cry I'll never recover from this I thought I was happy again but guess not every time Im alone my demons come and whisper hello with a evil smile and know I'll not escape since I don't like bothering people with my problems I'm alone to fight this war.

"Worthless"
"Failure"
"Stupid"
"Useless"
"Ugly"
"Pathetic"
"Fat"
"Disgusting"
"Fucked up"
My demons whisper in my ear
"MAKE IT STOP!" I yell as I banged my head against the wall slowing falling to the floor I cry as on how terrible my thoughts are.
"C'mon Fallen just slit your wrist and your thighs no one wants you here" my demons whisper again I bang my head again crying so hard it was hard to breath.
"You worthless shit just die! Luke doesn't want a depress girl who cuts her wrist just leave!" My demons says
"NO I KNOW MY WORTHY, STOP MAKE IT STOP PLEASE!" I stumble to the bathroom and searching for one thing that makes everything feel better I roughly open the drawer and yanking out the silver blade out and steadying the blade against my thigh and slashing against it I wince a little it's been a long time I haven't cut.
I kept on cutting until i was a bleeding mess I feeling so lost, numb, disappointed in my self I broke Luke's promise I got up and slightly slipped since the floor was covered in blood I cried out and went to reach out for my phone I search Luke up punch in the calling thingy and waiting for him to pick up
"Hello princess?" He said in his sleep voice I got upset that I woke him up
"Luke help me! I'm sorry!" I said crying
"Fallen what's wrong?!" He said more awake
"I did it! I did it again! I broke your promise Luke and I feel like shit! I'm just a failure to you! I don't even understand why you love me! I'm a complete mess!" I said trying not to cut again I feel like shit and all I can do is feel it. I try to stay awake I was loosing blood and I can't wait to close my eyes and hello hell and yes I know it sounds selfish but what about my pain! I don't want to feel like this no more!
"Fallen ill be over just try to keep your eyes open ok babe?!"

*Luke pov*

I put on my pants and sweater on as I ended the call with Fallen I can't believe she did it she promise and ugh I felt my heart beat fast as I rush to my car I don't want my baby girl to die I just can't she's my whole word and I'll be crushed if she left me . As I got to Fallen place I got out and pull out the spare key Fallen gave me I open the door and run to Fallens room I open the door to hear whimpering in the bathroom I fast walk to see Fallen trying to stop the bleeding my heart fell to see cuts all over her wrist and thighs i slowly reach out for her but she pulled away sadness shown in her eyes my heart breaking even more
"Why Fallen?, why?, I thought you promise me you don't do this more!?" My voice raising a bit
"I was hurting Luke! What did you wanted me to do! I can't take this pain no more!" She said
I shake my head disproval at her I'm so mad at her I can't believe it I just can't my eyes watered is she in so much pain?!
"You could've call me you know I'm here for you!" I said I looked at her as she had her bloody hands covering her face I went and wrap my arms around not caring if she had blood on her, she wrap her arms around my neck and cried I rub her back trying to calm her.
"Shhh it's ok I'm here" I said as I pull away and went to the bathroom and look to see the floor covered I blood i wince at the sight and look at Fallen to see her eyes so lost I grab her hand and pull her in and grab her waist and hug her my princess so lost so hurt in so much pain it made her do this. I started to clean her and taking care of her cuts and also cleaning up the messy floor once I was done cleaning I went and change Fallen.

*Fallen pov*

I didn't care that Luke was changing me I was to numb to even protest. I can see the tiredness in his blue eyes it made me feel guilty I sigh as Luke was finish changing me, and telling me to go lay down I did on what I was told. Luke went to change too since he got covered in blood and once he was done doing that he stare at me and started making his way toward me and lay next to me and wrap his arms around me.
"I love you, you know that? I'll do possibly everything for you"
"I love you too, thank you for doing so" I said I a whisper and sleep started to wrap its arms around me and soon I was welcome in a dreamless dream.

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Hey guys it's me esme and I hope you like this chapter and yes I'll understand if you didn't see this coming with the whole cutting thing. I hope you liked it and yea bye my beautiful readers.