Brains over Brawn [A Cisco Ramon Fanfiction][Book Two]

19

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19 | Vibes

" Cisco, " a questioning tone softly berated the young engineer as he seemed to be in deep thought, looking out past the only small window in this wing of the lab, he regained himself. He responded, delayed by whatever feeling he was suddenly feeling, Caitlin wasn't sure what was going on with him, but today especially, Cisco had been a little distant.

" Nothing. "

Short and sweet. Not even a full reply. Caitlin knew not to press, but she was concerned. Lucky for her, Cisco's chest was already too heavy with worry and he spoke up about what was bothering him. " I saw her again today, " he didn't look over to Caitlin as he spoke, knowing exactly what big brown doe eyes were waiting for him if he did. He couldn't handle another pitiful look- another I'm-so-sorry, he didn't need her or anyone else's pity, he just needed some time. Reyna had been gone almost a year and this past week had felt more and more like the week she'd passed. He'd had vibes-visions, and an overwhelming feeling that he wasn't alone. It was beginning to make his skin crawl, feeling like he was never alone and that someone was always watching him. He'd loved her, and even though it was so much more complex than that, it was agonizing revisiting memories. He'd never say anything to Barry or Caitlin, but even now after he had a vision or a dream of her, he could swear he smelled the coconut conditioner she used to try to tame her wild hair, he could feel her soft touch on his arm in the early morning hours or hear her whisper his name against his neck. It was agony, and he didn't need the worry or the looks, Cisco just wanted to push past it. He loved her- was still in love with her, but constantly being reminded she was dead was causing him to lose any hope he had in his present or future.  A part of him was still mourning her, while the rest of him tried to look ahead, and he wasn't sure if he would ever get past this.

They were dealing with enough right now, he didn't need to add to Barry or Caitlin's plates, but they insisted. Currently their lives had been uprooted by a new speedster, this one claiming to be a god and threatening to kill Iris. Everything was chaos right now and Barry was heavily preoccupied with protecting his Fiance and Caitlin had just recently discovered she wasn't a Metahuman after all, so his inability, his issue, to move forward, was the last thing he was going to bother them with. While his mind was going over every scenario possible to change the subject, Caitlin knew exactly what to say.

" You want to go visit her? Maybe it'll ease you a little, " Caitlin effortlessly shook the shiny brunette locks from her face and earnestly smiled. " It helps, I visit Ronnie when I can't clear my head, and-I don't-know- somehow I'm a little better. "

Cisco didn't turn to her, or answer aloud. His lips parted and for a moment he tried to muster something to say, but instead he simply nodded, not realizing how long it had been since he'd visited Reyna's graveside.

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𝕋𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕤 𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕣...