You puffed out a breath and set the PADD on the conference room table between you and Spock and the captain.
"Sir, I would like to apply for a transfer offered to me by Starfleet Command," you announced. Spock stiffened beside Kirk, but you tried not to look his way, choosing instead to speak directly to the captain. "I am being offered a promotion to lieutenant commander and a position as second officer on board the Crisis. However, I need your approval on the transfer order."
You risked a glance at Spock. His face was a perfect mask of impenetrable nonemotion.
"Both of your approvals." You looked back to Kirk, who was smiling in that way you distrusted as much as you had done the first day you had spent on the ship.
"Well, Lieutenant, I'm certainly sorry to see you go," he said, taking the PADD, "but far be it from me to stand in the way of Starfleet's most promising officer."
He signed his name and handed the PADD to Spock, who took it without reaction.
"I have to get back to the bridge now, Lieutenant," he said, grasping your hand and shaking it heartily. "Allow me to be the first person to congratulate you. You just might end up beating my record as Starfleet's youngest ship's captain."
You forced a smile and shook back. "Thank you, sir." The door slid open, then shut, and you were standing alone with Spock.
"(Y/N)."
You didn't want to look at him.
"Did you request this transfer?"
"No. I said that." You stared up at the ceiling, refusing to go back to your days of staring into your shoes. "It was offered."
"And you wish to accept it?"
"I said that, too."
He raised the stylus and touched it to the screen, but his hand stopped there.
"Are you afraid you'll spell your name wrong again?" you teased, trying to raise the curtain of seriousness that had descended over the room. Your effort fell flatter than a steam-rollered area rug.
He looked at you; you knew it. More than ever, you were determined to keep looking at the ceiling. You were afraid to see his expression. There was the faint sound of the stylus moving on the smooth surface of the PADD. Hell, you had never realized that signing made a sound.
"Congratulations." His tone was deader than your failed joke. "Here you are, Lieutenant."
The PADD was pressed into your hand. You lowered your gaze to him at last, but all you caught was a glimpse of the back of his dark hair as he vanished after the captain.
You did not move. Something coursed through your veins with a fiery force, but you couldn't quite place it. Did you make the right choice? You did want this, you were completely sure of it. But something deep inside of you, something nameless to your mind made you wish you didn't.
