I Loved You First (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 3

“You mean you’re with the infamous ‘Lex’?” My Mom asked from the other end of the line.

We were on our way to Sacred Heart Cemetery where my little sister and her husband were eternally sleeping. However, we did a small stop at the Florist. Alex and Fizzy were looking around together while I paid for the bouquet at the counter. I also grabbed the chance to ring my Mom and tell her what happened and where we were going.

“I meant he’s with us,” I scowled.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Mom scolded me. “Your daughter adores the guy. He can’t be that bad.”

Oh, he can be that bad, I thought to myself. What I said was “Mom, I don’t know how I feel sharing the story to a total stranger.”

I heard my Mom sigh. “Honey, Lex turned out to be Fizzy’s anchor at the moment. You can’t just make him leave because of what you feel. This isn’t about you, sweetheart. It’s about Felicity.”

When she says it like that, what else could I say? No matter how I feel about being anywhere near him, Mom was right when she said it wasn’t about me.

“Fine, fine,” I relented. “I’ll bear with it. But know that I’m not happy.”

I switched off my phone and turned around to call for my daughter when the sight of Alex standing not too far from me stopped me on my tracks. His face was carefully blank and I knew in an instant that he heard my phone conversation.

His eyes met mine dead on and my chest squeezed. There was hardness in them and I was hit straight on by its sharpness.

“Daddy?” Fizzy came from behind him, holding a bunch of lilies. “Can we get these please?”

I felt relieved seeing her. She just saved me from a really awkward situation. And although the guilt was still stinging my insides, I’d still rather not deal with Alex.

“Sure,” I answered, careful not to look at the guy. “Come give it to me so we can pay for it.”

……

“They’re here, baby,” I gestured towards the tombstone carved with the names Elizabeth Knight and Jonathan Hale, ever loving parents. Fizzy was looking at it with intelligent eyes. “You were still small when your mom and dad got into an accident. Your mom was my little sister. It’s not true that they didn’t like you, baby. They loved you very much. But you can’t be with them right now. You will someday. Preferably when your hair turns gray.”

I didn’t know what was going on in her head as she stayed quiet. I told her to put the flowers down and she did without a word. It was confusing and a little bit nerve-wracking.

“They’re in heaven, honey,” I explained. “They’ve become angels now, and they’re always watching over you. Do you understand?” I kneeled before her, praying in my heart that my words would reach her. “Your mom and dad love you so much that even after they died, they still continue to look after you.”

Her brown eyes that were trained on the floor suddenly filled with water.

“Baby?”

“Does that mean you’re not my daddy?”

Something squeezed in my chest, something more painful than the stabs I’ve been feeling the whole day. I grabbed my little girl and enveloped her in a hug. How could such a small child think of something like this?

“I will always be your daddy,” I said, trying not to let emotions consume me. “Even if you have your mom and dad in heaven to look after you, and even when you grow up and have your own baby, or when you get as old as Momsie, I will never stop being your daddy. Do you understand?” I pulled her away so I could look into her eyes. She was crying.