xx. artificial paradise

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the shape of desire is:
two hands around a neck
teeth sinking into a heart
          a bedroom sacrifice
        an artificial paradise
i hate you
           i hate you
                      i hate you
                                  i hate you
                                  it wasn't a lie
                                  not quite
         it wasn't a truth either

they should've known
        the shape of love is
        the same as desire
              (with a little more affection)
and if they listened to the old songs
they'd know
even mulberries are made of blood
                                         jess, i'm sorry
                                                  i'm sorry
                                                  i'm sorry
                                                  i'm sorry                           
they hid under the soft white sheets
so no-one could witness their crime
                                     (forbidden ache)
they both were influenced by liquor
                 so they could have an alibi

they could deny it in the morning
and they had no names for the night

he was starving for something
              he couldn't quite name
a place to worship
and a reason to,
              he had survived a war
              without any god
somehow
he finds himself praying now
oh, good god
      have mercy

and she, the devil
no red suit at sight
only her dark skin full of freckles
                       and half-healed scars
she wanted to be delightfully ruined
               and taste heaven for a while
because her putrid soul was burning
and she felt the need to burn
              the rest of her as well
                          (call her icarus tonight)

he wanted to
kill           kiss
her
out of spite

he knew                                  
this was the closer he'd get
                              to hurt her

radix malorum est cupiditas
he hummed the wise words
if only he could remember
                  what they meant

but
as long as she screamed
           did it truly matter
           if it was from pleasure
                                      or pain?
           did it even matter?
           good God, have mercy

she shouted gospel as a symphony
and he found in her a cursed ecstasy
and oh,
he had never believed in any god
but he might start believing now

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