Intermission // Van McCann

28. Best Birthday Present Ever

July 2021

It wasn't until April that we decided we were ready for a baby. Things moved quickly but I wouldn't have it either way. Marriage treated us well. Not too long after our wedding, we went on our honeymoon to the UK to share the wonderful news with Van's family and friends that couldn't make it. It felt strange calling him my husband and I had since changed my last name to his. Lauren Wolff McCann. I decided to change my middle name to my maiden name in honor of my family.

The decision wasn't immediate. We've talked for months whether we were ready. Van has been at his new job for over a year and has settled in very well. His supervisor was impressed by his hard work, trusting him with new projects. Work for me was business as usual. We have since hired Van's replacement. His name is Steve and he fits in real well. He's quirky and very intelligent, but I admit he's no Van. I still miss working with Van but have since accepted the change.

Our first attempt at trying for a baby was harder than expected. We went in without doing research and we were bummed when I got my period the next month. I don't know what had gotten into me but I cried when my period came. I was hoping to be pregnant but it didn't happen. Van was a sweetheart to me that day, telling me that we'll keep trying and that he still loves me. After our first failed attempt, we did our homework this time, learning about the best days to conceive. We've heard stories about it being a chore and didn't want it to be like that.

Every once in a while, the whole gang would meet up for dinner and to just spend the night talking and catching up. This time, we were invited to Iván's place where they treated us to dinner and dessert. I was bloated from all the food and helped Iván with the dishes.

"Are you and Van trying for a baby?" Iván asked innocently.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Van has been awfully nice to me the past few weeks. He's been in a good mood."

I started laughing. "We're trying. I won't know if I'm pregnant until a few weeks later."

"Well good luck. Keep trying. Strap him to the bed until you're pregnant. I like talking to nice Van."

My eyes widened at Iván's words and I could feel myself blushing. He can be blunt at times which takes some getting used to. I changed the subject to something else, trying to leave the awkwardness of the conversation.

-

My period was supposed to come a week ago, so either it's late or I'm pregnant. I figured enough time had passed so I decided to buy a home pregnancy test in secret. I felt awful hiding this from Van but I wanted this to be a surprise if I was indeed pregnant. I tested myself at work and watched as two lines appeared, confirming what I kind of already knew: I was pregnant. Of course I wanted to see my doctor to make sure I was a hundred percent pregnant as I knew these home pregnancy tests weren't the most accurate. But that would explain my morning sickness. There were some days I woke up nauseated and I'd throw up in the toilet. Van noticed something was off and would ask if I was okay and I'd tell him I was fine. Because we no longer worked together, he wasn't there to watch me all day but Iván and Bondy noticed when I kept excusing myself to go to the bathroom. I called to schedule a prenatal appointment the same day. They had an opening later this week and I took it.

-

My doctor looked at the results and smiled. "Ren, I'm pleased to tell you that you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations."

"Thank you," I replied. I felt a bit emotional. I was fairly sure I was pregnant but there was a small part of me that doubted it. Having my doctor confirm it made it real. That I wasn't imagining this all along. I had a baby growing inside me. I was no longer taking care of myself but someone else. My hand unconsciously went to my belly and I stared at my doctor expectantly.