One Night... Stand?

Conversations

Roy Lance(lot) - Message received  18:54

Hey Dale, I'm really sorry about May. Hope you're okay. Please call me when you can.

Roy Lance(lot) - Message received 19:25

Uhm just had a chat with May. She is really pissed, but won't tell. Hopefully no one, besides her knew about us.

Roy Lance(lot) - Message received 19:34

Dale, text me please. I need to know if you're fine.

Roy Lance(lot)- Message received 19:45

I asked May to call your parents, see if your home. Glad that you are.

Roy Lance(lot) - Message received 19:51

If you don't want to talk to me, that's algood I guess. Think we should stop this anyways. Been a long time coming.

Roy Lance(lot) - Message received 19:57

It was fun while it lasted.

I stopped myself from replying from all Roy's messages, after reading every single one of them. I can't even bring myself out to talk to my parents. They don't need to know what happened.

As soon as I arrive home, I went into my room, turned up the speakers to whatever song my phone would play and sat in the corner, brought my legs up to my face and curled up. I've been crying for the past hour or so that I had no more tears left to cry. I don't even know why I was crying anymore.

Maybe the fact that I had to admit to myself that I've been cheating on Connor - the person that did nothing wrong, besides giving his all to me. Or that May caught me and Roy about to do all sorts of debauchery our minds could only imagine and our bodies can do. Or that I might lose everything that I have built up to this point in just a blink of an eye.

"Dale, honey? Are you alright. I know you're in there, please open the door." My mum knocked on my door, through the loud music filling up room. I did not bother to move though, locked in my position until I'm sure of what I need to do.

But the thing is, I don't know what to do. Should I tell Connor about me and Roy? Should I tell my parents first? Should I just keep it to myself?

What if people already knew about me and Roy, yet decided to stay quiet? What if they had already gotten enough evidence and show it to Connor? 

"Dale, please open the door. If you don't want to speak to us, please lower down the volume of your music. You are already disturbing our neighbours." This time it was dad's turn to knock on my door. I slowly reached for my phone and stopped the music. The silence creeping in me instantly.

No, I can't just bring this one up to Connor. He just won't get mad at me, he will definitely break up with me and I can't lose him. I should have thought about this through. I should have known all the consequences that I might get, if the worst had to happen.

And here I am, as I sat in the corner of my bedroom, not knowing what to do. 

But maybe I do. 

Slowly getting up on my feet, I walked towards my desk. I was already feeling dizzy, my mind fuzzy. My eyes can barely see what I was about to reach, but I knew what I was looking for.

I sent a message to Connor before I do what I thought would be good.

I'm sorry Connor. I love you.

I felt a long and sharp pain on my wrist, a warm liquid started to gush out slowly. 

This is stupid. I thought, but regrets are always way too late.

Another sharp sting on my wrist, this time more red liquid came out pouring.

My phone then rang, but I ignored it. It didn't matter who called. I don't want to talk to anyone right now.

At this point, my head began to swing, my vision blurred. 

Then my phone went to answering machine. 

"Dale, it's Connor. I don't understand what you meant. Please don't do anything stupid. I'm on my way now. Please pick up your phone if you can. I already called your parents."

In mere seconds, my parents were already banging on my door, panicking. My body collapsed, lying in a small puddle of unknown substance that smelled like iron.

I've done it. I cut my wrist so deep that blood gushed out, making me lose my consciousness. 

Before I blacked out, I saw footprints and I could hear faint noises in the background.

"Call 111 Now!"

"Don't tell Connor right now, he said he's driving here now. He'll be here in a few minutes."

"Hello.... Yes, my son lost so much blood..... Yes.... Yes, we'll do whatever we can to stop the bleeding..."

I can't make out the rest of the clamour, my eyes were too heavy to open, my brain nearly lost it's function.

Am I going to die? I guess this is better than suffer the lose of someone I love. I'm going to die selfish, and I'm okay with that.