Unbroken (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 12 - Lingering

In less than a second, you find your feet landing upon the familiar green concrete floor of the Stark Tower balcony. You let out a breath, and bring a hand to your head. Slightly dizzy and emotionally overwhelmed.

"JARVIS, please tell Tony I'm home," you murmur. 

"Yes, Miss Y/n."

You close your eyes and simply breathe in the quiet, peaceful afternoon air. The heat of the sun feathers across your cheeks as tiny birds nesting in the nearby shrubbery boxes chirp sweet and simple songs. And a soft, metallic clang beats in rhythmic lulls as the flag's halyard sways in the wind, knocking into its pole. You've spent hours standing in this exact spot. The comfort and familiarity is overwhelming. But it's not enough to stop the tears that manage drip through your tightly-shut eyes.

"Master Stark is on his way, Miss," JARVIS says, almost gently, as if he can sense your distress. 

You quickly wipe away the tears on your cheeks as you finally open your eyes, spotting the balcony door just as Tony bursts through, freezing as he sees you. 

"Squirt?" he says quietly, before running to you and pulling you into a huge hug. "Where have you been?"

You fall into Tony's hug, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him close. You notice that your instinct to link is back, and stronger than ever. You fight with yourself for a moment as flashes of a yellow taxi cab and a man with dark hair and a thin moustache flash though your mind. 

"Y/n?" Tony calls your name, pulling back to see the tears in your eyes. "What's wrong?"

You can't speak. You wouldn't know where to begin. Tony searches your gaze, concerned, before glancing around the empty balcony. 

"Where's the little green pain in my ass?" Tony questions. But you start to lose it as tears roll down your face.

"Woah, woah, okay. Calm down squirt. Come on, let's go inside."

Tony takes your hand, and pulls you inside towards the elevator. He guides you down to the main hall, where Steve and Nat are watching TV. As soon as the elevator doors open, Steve casually tosses a glance over his shoulder, eyes widening and jumping up the moment he sees you.

"Y/n?" he calls out.

"What?" Natasha says, turning as well. "Y/n! You're back! We're glad you're home - you've only kept us waiting an extra week!" she says with a laugh. 

But you barely register the two of them as you pull from Tony's grasp, and move quickly to your room. Slipping inside and shutting the door, you glance around, and let out the sob you had been holding in when you see your bed still unmade from the last night you and Loki had spent in it.

"Oh no," you exhale in a trembling sob as your lip trembles. It takes a long while to summon the courage to draw closer to the messy bed, sheets still spilling over the side and pillows askew. 

You crawl in, and lay your head on his pillow, tears falling onto the satin pillowcase as you bury your head in his scent. It has been weeks since he was last in this room, but his smell is still here - lingering. 

Sitting up and leaning against the headboard, you pull Loki's pillow to your chest, burying your face in it, letting out every anguished sob and scream you have been holding inside since you had overheard Odin and Frigga's argument. You scream until your throat is raw, and you cry until the bags beneath your eyes sting from the salt in your tears. You allow your body to speak, as it shakes and quivers and heaves, explaining the feelings your mouth simply can't.

After what feels like hours, your door slides open. You lift your raw, tear-stained face to spot Pepper standing silently across the room. She gives you gentle smile, and a look of deep motherly concern. Without saying a word Pepper moves to the bed, sitting next to you and pulling you into her side. 

"Shh," she hushes, her fingers running through tiny strands of hair around your ear. 

It's enough to send you spiraling once more into broken sobs as she tenderly strokes the side of your face, wiping away tears as they fall. It is only once you fall completely silent, save for the occasional sniffle or whimper, that she speaks. 

"Tell me what happened."

You only hesitate for a moment before the words start falling. You tell her everything - Odin's choice, your decision, the days in Asgard, even the Warrior's Three. 

And then you tell her what you overheard. 

Pepper remains quiet the entire time, just listening, until you finish the entire tale.

"Honey, I am so sorry," she says, wrapping her arms around you tighter. "That isn't fair. None of it was fair."

"Did I do the right thing?" you ask, looking into Pepper's eyes. You need to hear someone tell you that you had done the right thing.

Pepper is quiet for a moment. Thoughtful.

"Honey, love is...well, it's an instinct. Your instinctive act of sacrifice to save him from pain tells me that the love you hold for him is the truest kind there is. And that kind of love could never be wrong."

You sniffle. Exhausted, grief-stricken. Pepper sits with you a while longer, before sliding away, tucking you into your bed.

As Pepper quietly shuts your door behind her, you reach into your pocket, pulling out the one thing you took with you from Asgard - Loki's golden ribbon. Pressing it gently to your lips, you allow yourself to fall into a deep, dark and depressed slumber, clutching desperately to the thin golden ribbon in your hand, Loki's face lingering in your mind.