Stay (Tronnor)

Surprise!

I wake up, feeling not very much like getting on a plane to NY, but more like staying in my bed all day, counting the hours until I get to see the love of my life again. But I can't, I can't ditch my meet&greet. Tyler and I spend the entire day together, until we have to go. It's nice, and we talk a lot.

About an hour before we go, I tell him. Tell him that I'm gay. "I knew. I am so proud of you, Connor. I know how hard it has been for you, and I am proud you got through it. I've always tried to help you as much as possible, but I didn't want to push you. I hope it helped" It really did. He has always been very supportive to me, and I've always known, I can trust him. "It has. A lot" I say. We hug for a while, and then we get ready to go. 

The plane ride is short, only two hours, but it feels like forever, and when we finally get there, we go straight to the hotel. I am so tired, I honestly can't even focus on taking my clothes off, I just fall asleep in what I'm wearing. And of course, I dream of Troye again, but this time, it's a nightmare. I haven't called him since yesturday, and in the dream, he gets really mad. He calls me, and he yells at me. He tell me, that he doesn't want a boyfriend that doesn't even care to call him. Then, he hangs up, and I am so confused and terrified in the dream that I don't even know what to do, and I can't get through to him, he doesn't pick up. 

I wake up, sweaty, warm, and with a pillow totally soaked from my tears. Great. I feel like shit to be honest, and my head is hurting like a bitch. My head is throbbing crazy, and I can barely walk straight to the bathroom without falling over my own feet. When I get there, I turn on the lights and look at myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my eyes are read and only half open, and I have huge bags under my eyes. I need to talk to Tro, he is the only one who could possebly calm me down after that nightmare.

"Hello?" His cute, adorably sweet voice asks. "Troye" I just say. my voice is shaking, and I just have to clear my throat. My entire body feels feeble, and I can barely hold my phone to my ear. "Connor! Are you okay? You don't sound like it" "I don't feel like it either. I had a terrible nightmare. You.. I think you broke up with me. And then I woke up, feeling like this" I explain. "Oh dear, sweet Connor, you know I'd never do that. How exactly do you feel?" I tell him, and I also explain the entire deam to him, and how scared I felt. I need to be sure, it was a dream, and that he is mine. It still seems surreal to me, and I can't really get it into my head. So I need him to tell me, he is mine, and that he'll never leave me. 

When he has finally convinsed me, we hang up. I need as much sleep as possible for tomorrow. When I finally fall asleep, it's a deep, dreamless sleep. exactly what I need. The next morning, I wake up feeling clearheaded and ready for a Meet&greet. Ty is waiting for me in the lobby, and he lights up in a smile, when he sees me. I smile back. "Are you ready?" He asks. I nod, and we get going. The whole thing is huge, I have never seen so many of MY fans in one place. And I get to meet everyone. It's awesome, and I'm so happy to experience it, but most of all, I just want to be at home, in my apartment with Troye. I call him after the event, but he doesn't pick up.

It kind of worries me, he always picks up. After I've left him three voice mails, I give up. Tyler notices my mood, when we're in the car on our way back to the hotel. "Hey, I'm aure nothing is wrong. He's probably just sleeping or something, I mean, he just came all the way from Australia. Also, at 8 o' clock tonight, I want you to get out of your room and come with me. I have a surprise for you" He smiles at me. Even though it's incredibly sweet of him, and I really want to be in the mood for it, I am just not. But I don't want to disappoint him, so I just say yes.

When we get to the hotel. I decide to film a video. I am still not ready to upload my coming out video, and I need to concentrate on something, to get my mind off of Troye. I have caled him five more times, and I have still not heard a thing from him. So many things can have happened. He can have gotten hurt, or maybe lost in the city. It is quiet large. But the worst thought crossing my mind is, what if he doesn't answer out of guilt? Because he met someone or kissed someone else. A girl once did that to me, and even though I'm gay, and I also was back then, it hurt. A lot. I don't want to believe it, but I have to accept it as a possebility. What if?