Stay (Tronnor)

What if I am not... Straight?

The evening flows by pretty quick, and despite my confusing emotions, it turns out pretty well. We order a pizza for dinner, and the time passes nine pm, Tyler insists on going home, because we have a lot to do tomorrow. Troye and I protest for a moment, but then we give in. Tyler takes the plates to the kitchen, and Troye and I go to the hallway. He puts his jacket on and looks at me for a second. "It has been a nice evening" he says and smiles. He looks gorgeous right there, his quiff is no longer,  his hair is just flat. It looks really good. He takes a step closer, and our faces are now only inches apart. We stare into eachother's eyes, and it seems almost magical. I immediately get butterflies in my tummy, and my heartbeat starts racing.

Footsteps behind me breaks the moment, and I look away. Troye hugs me goodbye, and opens the door. Ty follows, and waves at me as they get into a cap. I close the door and take a deep breath. I have absolutely no idea what the hell happened just a minute ago. As I've gone to bed I still lie there, wondering what happened between me and Troye, and if he felt it like I did.

The next morning at 7.20 am, I woke up by the sound of my ring tone. I picked up the phone to hear Troye's voice on the line. "Morning Con Da Bon" He said. "Sorry to wake you up this early, I couldn't sleep any longer" "it's okay" I said. "what's up?" "Tyler is sick, so he can't make it today. I was wondering if you would still want to go have breakfast with me? and maybe just spend the rest of the day together? I have literally nothing else to do, and I am just not up for a day at home with a sick Tyler tbh" I think for a second. Spending the whole day with Troye, just me and him. The butterflies in my stomach start to flutter again. "Sure, that would be great" I answer. "Cool, see you in an hour?" Before I reach to answer, he has already hung up. I immediately get out of bed and get dressed. 

As I arrive in front of Tylers house, my palms start to get sweaty. Am I sure about this? But my thoughts get interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Troyes stands in the door frame, looking totally gorgeous. his quiff is kind of flat, and he is wearing a blue knitted pullover that makes his blue eyes glow. all my doubt is gone now. Why in the world would I not want to spend the day with him? I don't know. We decide on not bringing a jacket, since the weather is warm and the sun is shining. Troye puts his sunglasses on as we leave the apartment, I am already wearing mine. That's one thing we have in common - We both looove our sunglasses. 

Troye orders pancakes with nutella (surprise), and I just order the same. When we finish eating, we sit there for an hour or so, talking about everything and nothing, and it is great. The more we share, the more we seem to have in common. Everytime he smiles, I can't stop smiling back. I can't seem to figure out, what exactly I am feeling right now, but I just flow with it. 

"Should we ask for the check now?" Troye asks "Sure, we've been sitting here a bit too long now, right?" "Yeah" He says, as he signals the waiter to come with the check. We decide on going back to my place and just watch a couple movies. Troye is still very jet lagged, so he doesn't really feel like going anywhere. When we leave the café, the clouds are rolling in.

Small raindrops starts to fall, and we walk a little faster. suddenly the sky makes a crash of thunder, and in the corner of my eye I see Troye making a small jump, as the sudden thunder crash gave him a scare. "Maybe we should start running" I say, and he nods. We run all the way back to my apartment, but we don't make it before it starts pouring down. when we finally get to my apartment, we are both soaked.

I quickly find my keys and lock us in. "Well, all my clothes are at Tylers" Troye says, when we've gotten inside and closed the door. "You can just borrow some of my clothes, I think I have something that fits more or less" "Cool, that's nice of you Connie. Can I use the shower?" "Sure, go on. I'll leave some clothes for you outside the door" He goes to the bathroom, and a few minutes later, I hear the water running. 

I go to my bedroom and take my wet clothes off. I brought a towel from the bathroom to dry my body with, and open the wardrobe. I pull out a maroon sweater and a pair of sweatpants and put them on. Troye is pretty tiny, but he is still taller than me, so I only have one pair of pants that could possibly fit him, and I pull out two sweaters. The one of them is dark blue and the other one black. I think for a bit and put the black one back in the closet. I pull out a drawer in my dresser and find a pair of boxers and socks for Troye. 

I fold the clothes and as i turn around i nearly bump into troye, who is standing doorway with a towell raped around his waist. Hist chest is glistening, still wet from the shower. His hair is curly, and he smiles at me. The sight completely takes my breath away. Wow. I realize I am staring and look away. "Here, this is the best I can offer you" I hand him the clothes. "Thanks" He says and disappears into the bathroom again. I try to understand what I just saw. I have to sit down.

This guy really makes me feel the weirdest things. Do I like him? I know Troye is gay, but I've always denied any signs of homosexuality. I don't want to be gay. Or do I? Troye makes me feel things, things I can't explain. What if I am gay? I don't know. Maybe I should just roll on with it and see what happens. Maybe I am wrong, but I can't deny that I have never felt like this about anyone before. I like girls, but I've never felt really attracted to a girl, opposite how I feel about Troye. That's it, that's why I feel like this. I am attracted to him.

I have no idea what to do with these feelings. And I don't get to figure it out before troye comes out of the bathroom. "The clothes fit. Thanks again man, it's really nice of you to let me borrow your clothes" He says and sits next to me on my bed. "No problem, really. I'll go make us a cup of coffee, and you can find a movie on netflix" He nods and goes to the livingroom. I go to the kitchen and start the coffee machine. "What's your password?" Troye yells from the livingroom" I yell my password back and find a couple mugs from the cabinet. When the coffee is done, I take the mugs and go to the livingroom.

Troye is sitting on my couch, wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito. He looks a bit tired, but his face ligtens up when he sees me. "I choose this movie, I have never watched it before, but I've heard it is good" he says, and shows me the movie he chose. It's a romantic one, which Troye obviously is unaware of, but I just pretend not to know that. "Cool" I say, and he unwraps himself from the blanket, so we can both sit under it. I crawl down under the blanket and we press play. 

During the movie, Troye moves closer and closer to me. In the beginning I think it is just because he is cold, but when I ask him, he says he is fine. Towards the ending of the movie, Troye is practically lying on my chest. His breathing is slow and as the rolling titles appear on the screen, Troye wraps his arms around my chest, pulling me closer. At this point he is most certainly sleeping, and I don't really know what to do. It's getting dark outside, and I don't want to wake him, so I slowly slide down on the couch, trying to lie in a comfortable position, and close my eyes. This feels nice. A few minutes later I drift off to sleep.