The Best and The Worst of Me

Ocean

Ocean

The only thing missing from my life is happiness

The regret I feel is overwhelming and I feel as if I must confess

My entire world just came crashing down around me

And it feels as if I am unable to breathe

The faint sting of the tears running down each cheek

Right then left, no control, destroying me.

I try to run but I cannot move

Standing there, paralyzed, in an empty room

Thinking of what is to come in the next few days

I am not okay, I realize this now

Furrowing my brow,

What is left of me?

I cannot see

I am falling to the ground

As my heart pounds

Breaking slowly

Crying lowly

The warm blood leaving my slowly cooling body.

The thought of this sending chills down my back

I feel as if something is about to attack

My heart has broken far too many times to still beat

I walk along the shore as the tide rolls in, trip on my feet

I fall into the rushing water not fighting the current

Just let the water rush into my lungs

The sinking feeling; completely welcome

Suddenly realizing, Death will come

My heart stops

As I drop

The ocean is my home

The place I now roam

I feel safer here

Than I ever did breathing air

I am here, beneath the water, on the ocean floor

Not a care in the world

Death has taken my breath

And I am now all on my own.

Before I think it is all over

I am suddenly sober

The overwhelming feeling of being intoxicated

By the ocean water is slowly faded

I begin to feel as if I cannot die

I have more to live on and look forward,

Gazing up at the sky

I push onward

Struggling to keep my head above the water

I feel as if this slaughter

Is something I must encounter.

As I drift to the surface

I feel your touch and lose all purpose

The thought that death

Must take my breathe

Just for happiness to overcome the great sadness

All of the madness

I feel safe in your arms

My skin burns

I must now learn

To cope with this depression

I have far too many questions

Though for now

The negative thoughts which flood my mind I cannot allow

I realize now that I only want you here

Fighting off all of my fears.

I am glad you haven't left

My heart's theft

It is not my time to say goodbye.

-///_·)