Drowning with purpose? Or purposely drowning?

Regret

Merediths POV:

I closed my eyes for a second and suddenly I felt like the whole world was spinning around me.what had I done? I squeezed my hand in a tight fist pinching my nails into the small cracks in my deflate hands as hard I could expecting to feel no pain, to suddenly spring up from a frightening dream, but instead I let a small whimper escape my frozen lips. I had very much gone through with this. It was like my mind and my gut had made two utterly different decision in that moment I rested my head down. All the darkness I'm my mind had completely taken over, all the bad thoughts wear finally controlling my head, controlling me, pushing me to do the unthinkable. It was like I couldn't even recognise myself when I'm in such a depressive state, it's just not me, my body's being taking over by the depression, the trauma, the uncertaincy of what's going on inside my mind. In the moment of release I could tell I needed help, and I needed it now. My mental state was pushing me too far and I was so exhausted I was giving in to it's power

......................................................................................
Sorry this chapters so short, it's 3am and I couldn't sleep so I thought I would just write a short chapter for you all :) I really enjoy writing these. Please tell what else I should write about, any episodes or merder scenses you would like to read about? I would love to write from many different povs. Your feedback is very much appreciated I will try my best to update this with new chapters whenever I can, thank you!❤️