The Love You Can't Have {Spencer Reid}

1. Showtime

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. " -John Lennon. 

could you give up your all for a feeling? like your job, your friends, your life.... just for this stupid feeling called love? I could never, but situations change. I worked at the BAU where we catched 'bad guys'. one of them happens to be an ex-agent of the BAU: Dr. Spencer Reid. he supposedly is running a hitman group where he kills the unsub of past cases that emotionally scared him. I joined his group, but you need to know all the details before you can judge me.  

"ok, Lewis. you can't make him leave. he has to be in your site the whole time. he knows all our little tactics, so don't try to pull any. I know he said no weapons, but take this. good luck." Derek Morgan handed me a gun and opened my door for me. "thank you. I won't need it, but I'll need that luck." he laughed before getting back into the van to listen to my mic. 

I finally got in contact with Spencer a month ago and he agreed to meet me at a bar. loud, noisy, distracting, he could easily slip out if need be. the team was hesitant with sending me in because he requested I come alone and unharmed. I step into the bar and landed on the familiar hazel eyes. he smirked, ranking his eyes up on my body in a tight emerald green dress. he pulled me out onto the dance floor in the middle of the crowd of people, away from any good angles. the song Partner In Crime by Chloe Collins played while he swayed me, I followed his lead. 

"take the mic off." he whispered, eyes landing on mine. I nodded, taking it off. "we lost visual and signal." Derek announced from the van. Spencer Smirked down at me. "good girl. now." he slowly reached his hands down my legs until they reached my thigh, where my gun was strapped. you thought I'd go in without one? he let out a breathy chuckle. "I thought I said unarmed." I felt small under his dangerous smirk. "I don't know what-"  "shh". he silenced me, slowly bringing his hands under my dress and unstrapping the weapon, slipping it into his jacket pocket without breaking eye contact or alerting anyone. "the team is outside huh?" although I didn't answer, that was the answer he needed. "oh Lilah. you never did learn did you?" 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, trapping him in. "why did you leave? you never run." he chuckled. "if you join me I'll show you. until then, another day." I thought wrapping my arms around him would distract him, but Spencer being two steps ahead, knew how to slip away. his hands cupped my face, bringing my lips down to his in an aggressive kiss. I was stunned by his sudden action, he left me breathless. my hands loosened and he got out of my grip, disappearing into the crowd. before he was completely out of sight he wiped his lip and gave me one last smirk, leaving me behind in a daze as the team filed in. but he was already long gone. 

"what happened Delilah? we lost visual and signal." Emily ran up to me. "he was just messing with me. getting under my skin, that kinda thing." I said still dazed from that kiss. Derek came up to us and gave Emily instructions to sweep the place. "Lewis, you can go home. write me a report tomorrow on what happened. I know how hard this was for you." he put a hand on my shoulder knowing how close me and Spencer were. "thank you, Morgan. I'll work that tonight." I said before leaving. 

a week later, a hand written note was delivered to my apartment doorstep. I knew who it was. Spencer gave me a meeting place  and if I wanted to join him. I thought about it for a long time and considered my options. I grew tired of the same boring work days and I knew this meant more opportunities so I decided to go. once night fell, I walked through a dirt path that led to a circle of trees. in the middle of the area was a car facing me. 

Spencer was leaning against the red car dressed in all black, spinning a blade in between his fingers. he smirked, knowing that I had chosen my answer. "I trust you're alone." he said as I approached him. "yes, I am. I'm tired of this same old job. I want out." he nodded and stood straight up. "good choice." he grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss. his hand tightened in my hair and he backed me against the car. his lips moved with a hot fiery passion. my heart picked up and I moved my hands to his curly hair. 

"lets go." I ditched my phone and hopped in his car, driving to the first location. once everything was set, we both hopped back in the car. he hooked his finger under my chin and pulled me into another long kiss. this brought me back to when we at the BAU together, we were dating and it was all I wanted. then he went to prison and broke up with me over a letter. I still love him, or else why would I be here. "ready?" I nodded, giddy with joy. driving away from the government building, I looked back and watched as it exploded into the dark night. Spencer smirked when I laughed in amusement, moving his hand to my thigh and squeezing. "that's only the beginning, angel." I sat back and put on my sunglasses, to hide my face behind and resting my head against the headrest. both of us planned our attacks and were always two steps ahead now. 

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