Back To You [Shisui X Itachi]

Chapter 51

Itachi's back was flush against Shisui's firm chest. Shisui's even breathing let Itachi know that the older male was indeed asleep. In the darkness of their room, Itachi was still able to see the sparkling ring on his left ring finger.

He just lay there, looking at the ring. Spinning it around his finger. Getting the feel of it – analysing the symbolism it carried. It was now the symbol of Itachi and Shisui's love for one another. Seems like a heavy burden for a diamond...

Shisui's arms tightened around Itachi's waist, dragging the Uchiha closer to his body. Itachi turned around and placed his ear to Shisui's chest. Feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. Itachi listened intently for Shisui's strong heartbeat. And he found it – the strong thump thump thump – that put him to ease. But he couldn't take his eyes off the ring.

They had just started university. Was it too soon to be married? Is this marriage a ship built to wreck? Would it end as it ended with...his parents?

Am I good enough for Shisui?

That was the burning question in Itachi's mind. That was the root of all his insecurities and doubt. Itachi's mind mulled over the plethora of reasons why he wasn't good enough for Shisui.

"Ita, all it takes is a leap of faith. All it takes is trust, trusting that the person will catch you if you trip. Trusting that they'll remember what kind of tea you like. Trusting...that they'll be there for you." Shisui's words bounced around Itachi's mind.

When Shisui and Itachi got home from their date on the field, he stopped Shisui at the front door, "I want to be the one to tell Sasuke..."

Shisui looked Itachi deep in the eyes, "Of course."

They entered the apartment and had dinner as usual, Itachi skilfully hiding the ring from Sasuke. It was the same questions:

"How was the date?"

"What did you guys do?"

How was Itachi to tell his younger brother about his engagement?

Itachi was frightened, he was trembling with fear. This, Shisui didn't notice all throughout dinner. Shisui sported his toothy smile and Itachi could see the excitement in the taller man's onyx eyes.

They then retired to their bedroom and went to sleep – well, Shisui did.

Now Itachi was curled up to Shisui, but he couldn't take his eyes off the ring. For the simple reason that the ring was a manifestation of his fear. It was his fear wrapped around his finger – a constant reminder.

Itachi knew he needed to tell Sasuke. Sasuke should be the first one to know – he more than deserved it. Itachi snatched the pillow from under his head and shimmied out of Shisui's hold – quickly placing the pillow to Shisui's chest so that the older male wouldn't stumble through the halls half asleep searching for Itachi.

Itachi stood up and tiptoed into the hallway. There was a faint light slithering out of the bottom of Sasuke's room. Itachi knew that sometimes Sasuke stayed up late. He walked over to Sasuke's room door and knocked softly.

"I'm going to bed now, I promise!" Sasuke said quickly.

"May I come in?" Itachi asked softly.

"Uh...sure", Sasuke spoke from behind the closed door.

Itachi opened the door and closed it behind him. He hadn't been in Sasuke's room in a long time. There were posters on the wall and clothes lying on the floor. Sasuke sat under his blankets, looking at Itachi quizzically.

"I promise I was about to go to bed", Sasuke said hurriedly – obviously lying.

"That's not...I came to talk", Itachi said softly, sitting down on Sasuke's bed. He made sure to hide his left hand where the ring was.

"Sasuke...what are your thoughts about marriage?" Itachi asked softly, his eyes landing on the framed photograph of their parents. The frame had a slight crack on it.

Sasuke sat up straighter, "I think...Well I remember what you said the other night at dinner. That marriage is a failed institution...But I don't think the problem lies with the institution. I think the problem lies with the married couple. It lies with two people refusing to deal with their problems." Sasuke reached for the picture of their parents. He gently stroked the cracked frame.

Itachi pretended not to notice. He put his left hand on display, particularly his left ring finger.

Sasuke looked at it in astonishment.

"Shisui proposed", Itachi explained.

"We- Congr...What did you say?" Sasuke asked after finding his words.

"I said yes..." Itachi whispered. His heart felt constricted.

"Then...what's the problem?" Sasuke asked gently.

"I...I'm terrified."

"Why?"

"The guilt and insecurities jump on me, and I carry them on my back like a boulder. Am I good enough for Shisui? He probably didn't tell you what he did during the four years him and I had no contact. He would drink himself to death. He would sleep with countless people – I really hurt him...Am I good for Shisui?" Itachi could feel the tears well in his eyes.

Sasuke placed a tender hand on Itachi's knee, "Itachi, people make their own choices. You can't control that. You also can't go back to fix it – all that you can do now is love him; all you can do now is trust him. Shisui would never hurt you...and I have a strong feeling that you would never hurt him either..." Sasuke spoke softly, gently and sincerely.

"But what if I do hurt him again?" Itachi fretted in a heavy whisper – his doubts speaking now.

"I don't have the answers, Itachi. But marriage...it's dealing with the pain love brings."

A memory from lifetimes ago washed over Itachi, the electric impulses in his brain brought forth a dead past.

"So if love hurts, isn't it a bad thing then?" Itachi asked his mother after a few minutes.

"Well no. You see, when you love somebody, and they get hurt – so do you. But, at the same time, when they're happy so are you. It's kind of like a give and take." His mother said easily, wisely.

Itachi's eyes focussed back to the present, "You're right. When did you get so wise?" Itachi asked in amazement.

"I've always been the wisest man alive", Sasuke stuck out his tongue.

"Yeah, yeah", Itachi poked Sasuke's forehead, "Now go to bed." He playfully scolded and left Sasuke's bedroom.

Itachi closed Sasuke's door behind him and turned around to see a sleepy Shisui emerge from their bedroom, rubbing his eyes. He stumbled over to Itachi and Itachi met him half way. Shisui wrapped his arms around Itachi and kissed him – slow and tender; a kiss of affection.

"Come back to bed..." Shisui mumbled in his drowsy state. He took Itachi's hand and led them back to their bedroom.

Shisui lay down and pulled Itachi to his side. Itachi rested his head on Shisui's bare chest. He felt the warmth, he felt the security. He listened intently to Shisui's slow, thumping heart.

"I love you, Itachi – maybe an unhealthy amount" Shisui chuckled softly. Itachi felt the soft rumbling in Shisui chest.

"You're my poison, Shisui. And I love it and you", Itachi mumbled – feeling sleepy.

They fell asleep like that. A union of affection and peace.

A promise of neither one ever leaving – a promise of unconditional love.

A/N: Please do vote! I want my #1 spot back lol. And let me know what you think! I think the more comments I get the more motivated I become lmao❤️

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