A Clouded Day

Roommate

Erin was being wheeled down a corridor in the rehabilitation facility towards her new room. She had to be moved around in a wheelchair because her injuries still weren't allowing her to stand up. Her face was scrunched up in pain as every change in pace and every bump in the floor sent throbbing waves through her entire body, and the bright lights that were shining down on her from the ceiling didn't do anything good for her headache either. Even though she had only been in the facility for about half an hour, she was already fed up with the place. The nurses were overly friendly and she felt like just another person who couldn't get her life together. The facility smelled like a hospital too, and she despised that scent. Erin dreaded the thought of being cared for once again, it always made her feel so useless. She wanted to take care of herself and be independent, but it seemed like after all these years of being an adult, she couldn't even accomplish that. She knew that the whole ordeal of rehab was a necessary evil, however that knowledge wasn't improving her mood either. The next few days would be hell, she'd seen and been through enough withdrawals to know that.

She arrived in the room where she would be living in for the next month or so. She was told that there was another patient she would be sharing the room with, but that person was not there at the time of her arrival. Erin settled in while two nurses started setting up her IV fluids and the ECG that monitored her heart rate. The smaller nurse was attaching the electrodes to her chest with great precision and quite remarkable speed, while the other nurse seemed more clumsy. Erin quickly developed a dislike for the other nurse. She was a slight bit taller, probably well into her fifties and had incredibly cold hands. Erin tensed up when she was touched, as she felt the coldness spreading up her arm as if she was dipping it into freezing water. The stench of alcohol rose up from a disinfectant pad that was used to clean the crook of her arm and irritated her eyes and nose, causing her eyes to water up. The nurse failed to hit her vein the first time, so she had to make a second attempt. Each time her arm was poked into, Erin felt a painful sting travelling up the nerves in her arm.

They also changed her bandages, which hurt a lot more than she cared to admit. After they were done, she looked around in her new room. The walls were white, and there was a decently sized window next to her bed. Erin took a look out the window. She had a view into an abandoned park, the heavy rain had probably scared away and visitors. The massive American oak trees were swinging in the wind and some leaves were falling to the ground. She inspected the dark grey sky that was covered in thunder clouds and watched the heavy rain drops splash against the window. Her reflection was blurred, but she could still spot how beat up and defeated she looked. She had a nasty bruise on her sunken cheek, and multiple bandages around her skull and shoulder. The sling around her arm felt like a prison, restricting her movements. She looked like a ghost, as if she were already dead. Maybe she was, in fact, already dead. Maybe this was all just a faint memory, her soul trying to hold on to something, to make things right. She imagined her cold body lying in her apartment for days without anybody noticing that she was gone, until maybe maintenance would finally find her. She could picture her body, pale, with a needle sticking out the crook of her arm. What would have given her the final blow? Perhaps an overdose of heroin? Cocaine? Opioids? Or maybe even alcohol poisoning. Or a combination of all of these. She also fantasized about that incident at work. What if the attacker had just fired his gun at a higher angle? She could see the bullet travelling towards her head in slow motion. The picture of blood and brain mass splattering out of her skull appeared as clear as day before her eyes, and yet she was strangely calm. She shook her head to clear her mind of those thoughts and decided to continue looking around.

Apart from a small picture on the nightstand of her roommate, the room had absolutely no character. The picture showed a little girl that was about three years old. She had blond hair and brown eyes and was wearing a pink dress. There was also a small bathroom attached to Erin's room that was only accessible to the residents of the room, which positively surprised Erin. She had expected a shared bathroom, one where she would be even more exposed to other people. Strangers. Losers who couldn't get their lives together. Failures. Like herself.

Erin sank back deeper into the pillow, relaxed her tense muscles and let out a sigh. She stared at the clock for several minutes, her mind was completely empty. Not one thought crossed her mind. She felt exhausted. Drained of all energy. At home, she would have reached for that inconspicuous zip bag. She would have let herself go. But she couldn't do that here, so she continued doing absolutely nothing.

The door was quietly opened and someone stepped into the room. When she looked up, Erin couldn't believe who she saw. He didn't have a confident posture, but then again, she didn't recall him ever having one. He looked at her with his expressive eyes wide open. His hair looked a lot neater than the last time she had seen him. He had shaved his beard, which made him look a lot younger, there were no dark circles under his eyes and he wasn't wearing any make up. They were staring at each other in shock for a solid minute, until she shifted her body to sit upright and cleared her throat. "Teddy?" She asked timidly. Her voice had failed her, so she asked again. "Teddy? Is that really you?" He slowly nodded and his facial expression changed from shock to being puzzled and worried. "Erin." He frowned and ran his fingers through his hair. "What are you doing here? What happened to you?" He stepped closer to her bed and inspected her injured body. "You look awful." He stated in a concerned way. The corners of her lip slowly tugged up into a smile. "Gee, thanks! Very charming." She said in an ironic tone and rolled her eyes. He shook his head in disbelieve as they both stated laughing. After they had pulled themselves together, Erin explained to him what had happened to her. This time, she didn't leave out her addiction, because she knew that her brother was in the facility for the same reason. Teddy didn't say a word the entire time she was talking, he just stared at the floor. All of a sudden he burst out "I'm sorry, Erin. I shouldn't have treated you that way, it wasn't your fault." "What wasn't my fault?" She asked confused. "Everything. My childhood, and all that shit I got into as I grew up. You didn't abandon me. Hell, you were just a kid yourself! I guess when SVU approached me about the trafficking ring I got all messed up, and seeing you again for the first time just kind of overwhelmed me. That's why I lashed out at you that way. I'm sorry." A small tear escaped Erin's eye and ran down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. Erin extended her unharmed arm in his direction. "Come here!" She said, and he took her invitation and gave her a hug. He sat down next to his sister and brushed his hair out of his face. "You know, I'm getting a lot better. They are talking about releasing me within the next few weeks." Erin smiled weakly and said "That's great. I'm glad you're doing better." Teddy nodded and looked down into his lap. The two sat in silence for a while, until Erin cleared her throat and pointed to the picture on his nightstand. "So who's that?" Teddy's frown disappeared and he grabbed the picture. "That's your niece, Nova. She's three." She looked at him surprisedly. "You have a kid? That's great!" Teddy shrugged with his shoulders and nodded. "I guess so. I just wish I'd been a better dad. She's living with her mother, who has full custody, but I am allowed to see her every weekend. When I get out of here, I plan on getting my life together and sharing custody though." Erin smiled at her younger brother and absentmindedly studied the picture of Nova. 

I know this chapter is quite a bit shorter than expected, but I like it as it is. I'm experiencing writer's block, so any suggestions for where this story should go would be well appreciated.