prologue

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"Needing a relationship because you don't want to be alone is called CO-DEPENDENCE. It's a form of addiction." -KR

"Co-dependency may trigger shadows in people such as manipulation and exploitation." -Murasaki Firefly

***

"Just fucking break up with him, Airthm! He is mentally ill and he is slowly making you one too! Fucking wake up! That toxicity is not love anymore!"

I bit my lip as Ryan's voice echoed in my mind. It's been hours but I can't still brush off what he said to me.

This is not love any more? Kailan mo nga ba masasabi na tama na? Na hindi na to pagmamahal? Kasi ako, nararamdaman ko parin. Ramdam ko parin.

I felt a arm snaked my waist and the familiar scent of a man entered my nose trills. I smiled when I felt him kiss the side of my head. I love him. And I am not yet ready to leave him. I don't think I will ever be.

"Craig," I called his name and just stared at me, studying my face. He is doing this everytime he would ask a question and right away I know he will. Kilala ko na siya, sobra sobra.

"What's bothering you?" He asked while looking intently at my eyes. I chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"I didn't noticed you. I thought you'll be home a little late." I saw how his jaw clenched.

"You didn't noticed me because you were so busy thinking over something. Tell me what is it," he demanded as he placed both of his hands on my side, cornering me. I sighed, I guess there's no way out again.

"I-I.. met Ryan earlier," I started and I saw how his eyes darkened. "And.. he just said something that made me upset again." I said and smiled at him.

He sighed trying to calm himself then hugged me. "Thank you for being honest," he whispered. See? My Craig is not that bad. He is just being misunderstood.

"W-Where have you been, Craig? I-I saw you earlier with some woman." I said and looked down. I saw how his mood suddenly changed.

"Let's eat, Airthm." He said, dismissing the topic but I wouldn't budge.

"You are not cheating, right?" I asked and smiled.

"I told you, let's fucking eat. Don't make me mad, Airthm." Sabi niya sa nagtitimping boses. I felt the corner of my eyes water.

"I love you, Craig. And I will always stay, but please don't give me more reasons to leave. I don't wanna leave you."

I jumped in shock when I heard how he slammed his hand on the table. His eyes darkened even more and I can't help but to stop my tears from falling because at this state, he doesn't want to see me crying.

"You are not fucking leaving me. You are the reason why I am being like this. Deal with the devil you made." He said before leaving me again. And coming back home after three days.

He was right, it is my fault. One of the reasons why I can't leave him like this. Not when we are both a walking disaster.

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