I woke up feeling pain in the back of my hand because of the dextrose. I tried to open my eyes and I was welcomed by a white room. My vision was a blur at first but when my eyes got used to the light, I roamed my eyes at the room.
"Air..." I looked at the man beside me and saw Ryan. I felt a light disappointment because deep down inside, I know, I am still looking forward on seeing him.
"I tries to shoo him away, but he won't budge." Ryan said and anger was visible in his eyes. My forehead creased and when he noticed that he pointed at a certain man's direction.
My eyes widened a bit and I can't help but to feel delighted when I saw him. Sitting on a monobloc chair, looking seriously at me. Both of his arms are resting on his knees.
"C-Can you leave us, Ry? I-I want to talk with him." I said and I saw disapproval in his eyes.
"Can't you see, Airthm? Nahihirapan ka ng ganito dahil sa putanginang lalaki na yan!" He said angrily. I sighed.
"Please," I begged and he clenched his jaw before leaving me with Craig. I cleared my throat, it hurts but I can still manage.
"How long have I been sleeping?" I started.
"Two days now," I shut my eyes tightly.
"C-Can.. you set me free, Craig?" I asked him. Silence enveloped us. I looked at him and he is slowly walking towards me and sat at the chair in front of me.
He slowly leaned his head and settled on my tummy. My heart cracked but I held his hair and brushes it gently with my hand.
"P-Please don't leave me, A-Airthm.." his voice cracked. "I am sorry. I swear, I am not cheating.." he mumbled.
"Magbabago na ako. Airthm, gagawin ko ang lahat ng gusto mo, please." He begged.
"The last time na ginawa mo ang lahat ng gusto ko, Craig, we end up being like this." I felt his palm turned into a fist.
"Believe me, Airthm. I-I didn't cheat.."
"How could I if I saw it with my two eyes, Craig?" I felt my hospital dress being wet. I-Is he, crying?
I never saw him cry.. before, I would always see his eyes turning red everytime we fight and everytime he recalls everything from his childhood or tells something which broke his heart but I never saw him shed a tear. But right now, he is crying.
"I tried, Airthm.." he murmured. I was confused at first but he continued talking.
"I also have my own psychiatrist kasi sabi ko sa sarili ko, I want to heal secretly for Airthm. I want to be the best thing that Airthm ever had. I want Airthm to be proud of me, I want to feel worthy of Airthm's love." I felt the corner of my eyes watered. We are the same. We are so eager to heal ourselves secretly because we both want to be the best for each other.
"Airthm, mahal na mahal kita. Sobra sobra, pero hindi ko alam na ang pagmamahal na yun ang magpapabagsak sating dalawa. Airthm, nag mamakaawa ako. Mahal kita, mahal ko din ako diba?" He asked and my heart sched for him when I saw how red his eyes are. I held his cheek.
"Mahal kita, Craig. Mahal na mahal, pero pasyensya na kasi hindi ko na talaga kaya." Napasinghap siya at nakita ko kung pano tumulo isa isa ang mga luha sa mata niya.
"Gusto ko gumaling sa maayos na paraan, Craig. Sana hayaan mo ako. Binigay ko lahat sayo, wala akong itinira sa sarili ko. C-Craig, gusto ko ng pagbabago.."
"T-There must be some other way.." he mumbled and held my hand tightly. "Please wag ganito, promise, I'll explain everything to you. What do you want to know?" He asked desperately.
"C-Craig--"
"Is it about Mia? A-Airthm, no... I swear I didn't cheat. S-She is my psychiatrist's daughter.. I-I thought everything is going to be okay because that is what they p-promised me. But they used me, Airthm. Please, m-my a-angel. D-Don't leave me.." napahikbi ako nang marinig kong pumiyok ang boses niya.
"P-Please, I promise I will be more faithful, I will give all my time to you, you are my angel, please don't leave me like this. I-I'll look for the best psychiatrist and heal as soon as I can, p-please." He begged pero patuloy lang akong umiling.
"C-Craig listen. W-We can't do this if we are being like this. We have to part ways." Nakita ko ang pag iling niya but I continued. "Diba kung tayo naman talaga sa huli, tayo pa rin?"
"Airthm, I don't fucking want anyone else. I only want you."
"I don't want anyone else except you too, but C-Craig, I can't stay like this.. I don't wanna live like this." I admitted.
"I want a change. I want to heal alone. I want to be away from everything. I want to be healed completely. You love me, right?" I asked mimicking his line, I saw him nodded.
"So damned much, Airthm."
"And I love you too. Can we agree to heal ourselves first? And when everything is in their right places, at pag mahal pa rin natin ang isa't-isa. Tayo parin talaga. Just give me and yourself a break, okay?"
