Darkness Into Light • P. MAXIMOFF

Part 13

Y/N'S POV:

"i'm all sweaty after our run so i'm gonna shower" i said to pietro "okay princessa i'm gonna go train for a while" pietro said "okay , one more thing" i said and he gave me a confused look "what" he said "this" i said as i walked up to him and kissed him , i pulled away and said "see you later" he blushed and said "ye see you later" before turning around and heading out the door , i grabbed my stuff for my shower and walked into the bathroom.

the shower was running and i started to undress , i took off my shirt and i looked in the mirror , your so fat , you need to lose weight , your so fucking ugly , die , you don't deserve to live , no wonder your mother didn't want you look at you , why would anyone love such a fucking fat cow like you , you should just die already , no one wants you here , everyone hates you , kill yourself.

all these thoughts kept racing in my mind , i started feeling like i couldn't breath , i was gasping for breath but it felt like something was sitting on my chest not letting me breath , i was crying so hard , trying to breath , it felt like i was drowning , i heard F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice say "miss Y/L/N your heart rate is going up rapidly would you like me to inform mr stark" i barely got out a "no" in between my gasps , i couldn't handle it , i was having a really bad panic attack and it was the worst feeling ever , but i deserved it , i was now lying against the wall sitting on the ground trying to stop this panic attack "one ... two ... three ... four ... five" i started counting trying to slow down my panic attack "six ... seven ... eight ... nine ... ten" i kept counting to ten slowing down my breathing until my panic attack stopped and i steadied my breathing for a few minutes and then i got up , i took off my clothes to get into the shower.

i looked at the bag which contained my stuff and grabbed it , i got out my razor blade and started cutting my arm , i made a deep cut and said "your so fucking ugly" and then i made another one and said "no one loves you" i looked to my forearm littered with cuts as the blood was pooling out , i made another cut "your so fucking fat" i started making more "die" i got louder "die" i kept getting louder as i sliced my arm "die!" my wrist was just oozing out blood "die! .. die! ... die!!" i looked down to my wrist that was covered in blood and there was ten cuts , my face was red from crying and tears stained my face , i threw the razor blade in the sink and screamed , i started to calm down and then got into the shower , watching as the water washed away the blood from my forearm , as it went down the drain , my body had cuts all over it , on both arms and legs , on my chest , on my shoulders , my thighs , i had them everywhere.

after my shower i got out and turned it off , i started to get ready as i threw on the clothes i had on this morning before my run , i started brushing my hair getting all the knots out , i plugged in the hairdryer and started blow drying my hair , i dried it for about 20 minutes and when i was done i knocked the hairdryer off and set it down where i got it. i styled my hair the way i liked it , when i was done i picked up my clothes and threw them in the hamper with my towel , i unlocked the bathroom door and walked out. i looked at the time and it was 11:32 , i sighed and turned on back in black by AC/DC.

(A/N so sorry about the story being slow and boring at the moment but i promise it will get better please leave comments about anything i am also working on another book right now that will be uploaded when this one is completed probably maybe before but hopefully i can get that book completed when this one is so i can just upload chapters and it can give me time to write another book thank you for the views and votes and i hope you all like this story thank you - the author)