Fools Gold (Moreid Mpreg)

Chapter 38: Hes back

3 weeks later.....

"Whos daddys baby girl?" I coo.
I tickle her bare tummy. I gave her a bath today. Her second one. 
She loved them. Except the part where her hair got wet.
She squealed of laughter as I did this. 
I than dress her in a pair of pink, poohbear sleepers Derek bought her the night before I went into labor. 
Its been a long time since our fight.

It was lonley sleeping alone on a cold bed.
Sometimes I would wake up shivering because I didn't have the warmth of his body against mine as I slept. 
I sometimes cried myself to sleep too. I sometimes got so upset that I imagine Derek running his hands down my chest and kissing tenderly and forcefully. 
God I missed that. 
But I couldn't take anymore changes.  He hurt me.
What if he hurt Savannah?

It was already 7:00 and it was mid-dark outside. 
I fed Savannah a bottle before putting her to bed.
I than tided up the kitchen and went into the living room. 
I than noticed something outside, someone lying there.
Slowly I hesitate before opening the front door. 
I find Derek passed out in the yard with a beer can in his hand.
"Goddammit Derek" I say. 
I couldn't just leave him out here.

So I grab underneath his arms and drag him inside and lie him on the sofa.
What a fucking idiot.
I than get a quilt from the hall closet and drape it over Dereks body. 
"You're out tomorrow morning.  I fucking swear." I grumbled. 
Leaving him behind I head upstairs to my room and pull the covers over me turning off the lamp which was the last source of light in here. I burry my face into the pillow and fall asleep.

****************
I awoke to soft, hiccuping sobs. I look over at Derek who had the lamp on and had his face burried in his knees.
"Derek." I say. 
He looks up at me with bloodshot eyes and bags beneath them.
"Spencer." I chocked. 
"What in the fuck are you doing in my room? You shouldve stayed where you were." I sneer.
"I know.  Im sorry.  I'm so,so sorry Spencer.  You don't know how sorry I am. If I had to say it a gazillion times or more, believe me I would.  Im sorry for hitting you. I didn't know what I was thinking.  I should have never, ever hurt you im so sorry. " he quivers.

"I don't want to accept your apology. " I say.
"Spencer please. Please love me again.  Im a wreck without you. I miss you and I miss Savannah. I never slept for weeks." He cries. 
"Whatever." I say.
"Spencer you don't understand.  Please,  please love me again. It became so bad I overdosed. Twice." He sobs.
I snort.  "Yeah right."
"I also..cut. Just like you did." He says.

He pulls up his sleeves revealing, deep, dark scars up and down his arms. He cut the word worthless and die and fat in his arms. 
He than rolled up his shirt to cuts and burns on his stomach. 
I chocked back a sob.
"Why did you do this Derek? " I ask forcing back the tears.
"I thought everyone hated me. I thought that if I was dead..all the pain would dissapear and no one could hurt me anymore." He whimpered. 

I than notice something I never seen before.
His ribs were showing.  They were noticable big time.
"Derek.  Did you starve yourself? " I ask. My voice shaky and breathless.
He nods. 
"I haven't eaten anything for weeks." He says.
This was all my fault. 
"Derek please don't hurt yourself ever again do you hear me?" I demand. 

He shrugged. 
"I dont think I can. Everything I ever dreamed of is gone." He says.
"Please don't. " I say.
He began to sob again. 
"Im sorry Spencer.  I can't. " he sobs. 
The tears fell down my face and I smashed my lips against his. 
Our tounges brushing together and the salty, bitter tears dripped into our mouths.

"Dont ever fucking hurt yourself anymore. Do you hear me? I love you. " I  bawl.
He nods. "Im so sorry for hurting you. " he says. 
"I dont care. Promise me you wont ever touch another blade or lighter again." I demand.
"I promise. " he says.
"Good. Iove you." I smiled and kissed him again.

I kissed his neck hard, biting it leaving behind purple hickeys and a trail of slober.
He held my waist tightly as I hover over him kissing and biting his flesh. He let out groans of pleasure as I did.
My long hair fell over my eyes and Derek brushed it away with his fingers. 
I brought myself to lie ontop of him allowing our hearts beat together as one. 

He kissed my lips in a slobbery, sloppy kiss. 
He dug his fingers into my back as I got more into it.
After kissing for 5 minutes without any air we layed on our backs, panting hard.
"God. I should let you be in control more often. That was amazing. "He pants.
I laugh.  I didnt actually realize I had that in me.
Savannah began to cry across the hall.
"This time I will get her."he smiles kissing my lips and gets up to go across the hall.