Broke & Broken | | Muke au

0.8

Ever since Ashton told me about Calum and him it's been really, hard, yeah hard to be around them.

Most normal people would watch a couple giving each other nose kisses and coo. Seeing them cuddle and be thinking how cute it was and how much they envy them. But all I saw was two people who had it better them me, I know it's a horrific way to think. But that's exactly how I've always been, a selfish and jealous person

My mum would always tell me different, saying that it's okay to feel a little jealously now and again. But I've always felt like a selfish prîck.

It's not that I'm envious of them pacifically, it's the fact that they're a happy, mentally stable couple. And then there's Luke, every time he sees them being shockingly cute he leaves the room. At first I guessed it was a coincidence, that maybe I was just seeing things. I find myself paying a lot of attention to the blonde, so of course I found out that it wasn't a coincidence. My eyes are basically on him as soon as he's in my sight.

I wanted to just ask him straight out why he couldn't bear looking at them. Couldn't stand watching them swap spit or even hug without looking as if you were the most guilty person alive. But things are always awkward with us, it's almost always sexual tension or heaps of awkwardness as we try a conversation.

My curiosity ended up getting the best of me, making me put down the Xbox controller. Pausing the game, I quickly went upstairs, knowing Ashton and Calum wasn't here made me feel better about it altogether. Maybe he would open up about the subject knowing they aren't around to hear anything?

Knocking on his door lightly, I didn't wait for an answer as I opened his door. Poking my head around the little creak I made, scanning the room to catch him sitting in front of his mirror. Cross-legged, head in hands, he was just his boxer briefs and I suddenly felt like I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be watching this.

I stepped into his room anyway.

"Luke? Are you alright?" His head shot up at the sudden voice, looking at me with tears streaming down his face.

"Peachy, I'm so fuçking good right now, I feel like I could puke rainbows." He sniffled, wiping at his face furiously as he got up on his shaky legs.

Blue eyes met green and it was just like that for a while, we both stood in silence. Neither knowing what to say to the other, so I didn't say anything. Just stepping forward until our foreheads were on each other's. Breathes being shared, I brought my surprisingly shaky hand to his cheek. Rubbing my thumb on his cheek, goose bumps suddenly on his pale skin. I let my finger trace his jaw, enjoying how he shut his eyes tightly. Waiting for me to actually do something, to help him.

"What's wrong?" His eyes popped back open, surprise covered his face, but it quickly reversed into a shy look. A shy innocent look that made him appear ten times younger.

"I really am fine, Mikey, I promise," Luke's voice being just above a whisper, he brought his arms up to my shoulders. Wrapping them around me, loosely, he placed his head down. A scent of cheap cologne and strong coffee filled my nostrils as his hair brushed on my face.

-

I ended up dragging him up to bed, just cuddling with him until he felt up to speaking.

Moving a piece of his messy blonde hair from his face, I asked in a quiet voice, "Can you talk now?" He didn't reply at first, I could see he was just swallowing down dry air. Until he finally nodded his head.

"Why'd you come in here?"

"I was going to ask why you leave every time Ash and Calum get touchy feely. I mean I don't blame you, it's kinda depressing seeing them be such a cute couple." I chuckled dryly, padding my thumb over his face once again. Liking the feeling of his soft skin.

"I-I don't, I don't know, " he shut his eyes tightly, letting out a little frustrated sigh.

"I like him a lot and it hurts knowing what I did, knowing he's so happy with someone else. I just - fuçk."

"You like who? Luke, I promise that you can trust me, I won't tell anyone anything you don't want me to."

He opened his eyes up, tears brimming them, he kept opening his mouth then closeting it.

"One time, when A-Ashton left to visit friends he was staying there for almost a week. Calum and I were hanging out all the time, l-like old times. But then he-he kissed me and I kissed back, I fuçking liked him for so long. And I eventually got what I wanted," He sat up, laughing quietly through his tears, "He told me that he liked me for so long, I let him actually touch me. Not that I minded him touching me, I liked it a lot. But as soon as Ashton came back. He just, just acted like nothing happened, like we didn't spend that night together. I haven't brought it up, instead just going to Josh, Josh loves me."

"Did he, touch you without your consent?" I asked in disbelief, Calum isn't like that. He's a dependable guy, he's my best friend's boyfriend.

"No! No, it's just, it feels like that now, I feel like I've been violated - I've set it to the back of my mind for ages. Just taking it all out on Josh whenever I did begin thinking about it. But we split up and it's like it replays in my mind all the time, all the goddamn time."

"You can take it out on me? I mean, you can come talk to me or we could just get high." I stood up reaching out my hand to him, he hestaintily took it. Smiling at me once I started dragging him towards my room.

-

A/N This so shîtty, but I felt like it needed an update so :/

-Face