Close to Toast

Chapter 12

The following week

Looking around the airport I bite the inside of my lip feeling excited. Poki and Rae are both taking a week off to come visit us for the week. "I'm so excited" Kylie whispers from beside me. I laugh slightly and nod "I am too" I reply. We've been waiting for about half an hour, my phone rings and I answer without looking at who's calling. "Hey we've landed we're headed to the conveyer belt now" Rae says. "Oh my gosh ok I'm with Kylie and comfort, we're waiting outside the doors" I let her know. "Awesome see you in like 15 minutes" she replies. "Ok see you" I reply hanging up. "How long?" Kylie asks. "About 15 minutes, it's going to be the longest 15 minutes ever" I answer.

We stand there patiently waiting for what feels like hours when really it's 10 minutes. The door opens and out comes a big crowd of people from their flight. I see Rae and Imane next to eachother walking out with their suitcases behind them. "Oh shit" Kylie whispers from beside me. I look to the side and toasts here too. My heart beat quickens, this is the first time I'm seeing him since I developed these feelings. "H-he's really here" I whisper. She elbows me "he's looking at you syd" she whispers.

They pass a line and I run over hugging them. "I've missed you" I whisper to them. Rae smiles hugging me back then pulling away. I look over at toast "you didn't tell me you were coming too" I say. He shrugs "I wanted to surprise you, now where's my hug?" He asks. I roll my eyes and hug him tightly, I close my eyes enjoying this feeling and listening to his heartbeat. He rubs my back squeezing me gently. "Um alright should we get going?" Imane asks breaking the somewhat awkward silence. I pull away and nod "yeah let's get going" I reply.

While we're walking I toss the keys to comfort so he can drive. "I call shot gun" Imane says as she starts running to the car. I walk with toast and Rae feeling content and happy with them being here. "Wait who's sitting where there's only room for 5 and there's 6?" Kylie asks. I look between us "someone's gotta sit on someone's lap" I say. "you can sit on mine" toast replies. "Oh um ok that's fine" I reply. "Ooooh spicy" Rae comments. They laugh slightly and we get to the car. Toast gets in behind comfort and I slide onto his lap, Rae sits in the middle and Kylie sits on the other side of her.

"Is this knee fine?" I whisper asking him. "Yeah you're good don't worry" he replies. I rest my back against his chest and look ahead "toast, move your hand" Rae says. "Oh sorry" he says. I giggle grabbing his hand and putting it on my lap "there" I whisper. I leave my hands on my lap and he moves his arm wrapping it around my waist "you're very light" he whispers. I turn and admire his face "thank you" I whisper. He shrugs and looks at me his eyes moving between mine and my lips. I turn my head and look ahead at comfort driving. It's not that long of a drive back to the house. "We have so much planed for the week I'm so excited" Kylie says.

I sit silently and I shift slightly "we're almost back don't worry I won't be on your lap much longer" I let him know. He shrugs "I don't mind it" he whispers. I turn and look at him "why'd you come?" I ask whispering while everyone else is talking. "I missed you" he whispers. "Is that it?" I ask. He nods and I nod resting my head against the window. He moves his arm and grabs my hand holding it and rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand. "Your hands are soft" I whisper. He chuckles "yours are too" he replies.

A short bit later we arrive at the house, Kellie and Anna waiting outside. Once he's parked I push open the door climbing off of his lap. The girls look at me with raised eyebrows until the gets out of the car "holy shit" Anna says then looks over at me with a look. I roll my eyes and we all head inside "do you want a tour?" I ask them. "Ooooh sure" Imane says. Rae shrugs and so does toast. "How about we make this a game? Whoever brings back a game or something we can do tonight wins" Anna says. "There's 5 of us and 3 of them how is that fair?" I ask. "Me and Kylie will take Rae, Kellie and comfort will team with poki and you and toast will be a team" she replies.

Before I can even say anything they're all walking off in different directions. "Oh um I guess we'll start here then, this is the entrance area, in this direction it is where we film any videos for any of our channels and for our girls channel" I start. He nods looking over at me, the tour goes great and then we get to my room. "So we have to find something to play, Ooooh I've got cards against humanity should we play that?" I ask grabbing it from my bookshelf. He nods "sure why not" he shrugs. I nod handing it over to him, he grabs it but pulls me in too.

"I didn't just come here because I missed you, I came here to tell you how I feel about you" he says. "Wh-what do you mean?" I ask. He smiles "I like you Sydney, like more than a friend" he says. "R-really? More than a friend?" I ask. He nods and I look at him, he's looking at me already "yes I do" he whispers. He towers over me so I look up at him feeling very close "I um do you?" I ask. He nods and I bite the inside of my lip "um that's uh that's cool" I reply. He chuckles "not meaning to sound straight forward but do you feel the same?" He asks.

My heart beat quickens and before I could even say anything my door is opened and in comes Anna, Kylie and Rae. "Oh my bad" Anna says. "Oh no you're good we were just grabbing our game of choice" I say backing away. They nod and the 5 of us leave my room going down to the living room area. We sit around it and I distribute the cards to everyone. I'm mostly quiet as I'm still processing toasts confession, I'm not even sure what I'm suppose to say to that. Do I tell him how I feel? Or do I lie and hurt him because I'm too damn scared of having a long distance relationship and for it to fail even if I lived in LA.

Relationships are not my strong suit and with both of us being streamers our fans would be ruthless. We sit around the living room playing the game and snacking on chips and sipping on our preferred drinks. "Who else is hungry?" Anna asks. We all look over at her "yup 100%" I answer. My stomach growls and I laugh "I am, what we making or ordering?" I ask. "Pizza?" Comfort suggests. "Yes" they all agree. Anna nods and dials our favourite pizza place ordering a few pizzas and a couple orders of wings. "Does anyone need a drink?" I ask standing up. "Can you get me another beer?" Comfort asks. I nod standing up and taking his can "anyone else?" I ask. They all shake their heads.

I head into the kitchen and grab a beer from the fridge, I go on my tip toes trying to grab a glass. "Here I got it" toast whispers from behind me. Before I even move he's towering over me from behind and grabbing a glass for me "here" he whispers. I turn around and he's right there, "oh um thanks" I whisper. He moves closer "Sydney you didn't answer me" he whispers. "Jeremy I don't know what to say I-I'm sorry" I whisper. He shakes his head and rests his hand on my cheek "please" he whispers. I shake my head "I can't I-I don't feel the same I'm sorry" I reply. He backs off and I move pouring myself some vodka and 7up. "You can say you don't feel the same but the stuttering and the rapid heartbeat says differently" he says. I shake my head "sorry" I whisper.

Without hesitating I head back to the living room handing comfort his beer and sitting back in my spot grabbing my cards. "Ok what was the question card?" I ask. "Why am I sticky?" Kylie answers. I nod looking through my cards and handing her one. Toast comes back sitting down across the living room. I look down at my lap feeling guilty for lying. He doesn't deserve me, he deserves someone with better mental health than me. Someone that lives in la so he doesn't have to fly to see them. I also don't deserve him because he's absolutely perfect and way too good for me.

The games go smoothly and comfort ends up winning the game, we only have 1 guest bedroom so Rae and poki share the bed. Kylie and I blow up the air mattress for toast. "Are you sure you're ok sleeping on this? You can have my bed and I can sleep on this" Kylie asks. He nods "yeah I'm fine" he replies. We finish up and Anna hands over a pile of extra blankets and a couple pillows. After making sure he's ok we head to our rooms. I plug my phone in across my room playing music quietly and falling asleep a bit after.

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Oh shit lol hope you enjoyed :)

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