October 17th, 2019
15 Years Old
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I know that when I hear the word jealousy.
I immediately think of a rude, preppy girl
Who's mean to the quiet kids because she's jealous of them.
I don't think of myself as that.
But I can admit I suffer from jealousy.
Just as much as one can suffer from anxiety
Or depression
Or any other mental illness.
Jealousy doesn't make me a bad person.
It's very hard to fight against this force.
It's hard to go from having all the attention to having to share it.
It's nice and comfortable to have all the attention.
Recently I've been feeling weird.
My anxiety doesn't seem to be the case, though.
It's something else.
And I notice I walk with more people in the halls
Sit with more people at PLTs.
Jealousy is simply a battle with something out of my comfort zone.
I'm not jealous of those with the latest phone
Or the best looking rooms.
I'm jealous that it's no longer just us.
That I have to get used to something new.
And it's such a battle that it takes up my thoughts constantly.
My brain stumbles, picking up nothing but
Downward spirals and fortune-telling crystal balls.
As hard as it is to stand here and say
I am jealous.
Extremely jealous.
I want it treated with as much respect as anxiety
Or depression
Or any other mental illness.
Because I'm just a human
Experiencing an emotion
More than others do.
But I'm still me.
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YOU ARE READING
Teenage Hooligan: An Original Poetry Chapbook
PoetryJoin me and my original poetry. Updates as more poems are written. Just an 18-year-old girl trying to find her way in the world. Follow her journey through multiple poems, and relate to the tell-tale imagery and real-life situations. Take a step in...
