BTS One Shots & Imagines

(Yoonmin) Hold Me Tighter

Jimin looked at the clock for what must have been the hundredth time. It was 3 am. He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. Hearing the sound of feet approaching, he sat up.

"...Jimin? You're still up?" Jimin looked up at his best friend's worried face.

"Tae, I told you, I'm not sleeping until Yoongi gets back." The younger rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Chim...he's not coming. You know how he gets. We don't need both of you passing out from exhaustion. Come on." But Jimin would not be swayed.

"You go back to sleep. I think I'll go to the studio and check on him." Taehyung sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue.

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Meanwhile, Yoongi was slumped over his computer monitor. A horrible headache was pounding behind his eyes. God, he was just so, so tired. He'd been at the studio for who knows how long now, maybe even a few days. He'd lost track of time.

All he knew was that this song had to be finished, and it was not working. All his old self-doubts and insecurities were creeping in, the carefully hidden feelings of depression and anxiety making themselves known.

He felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. His vision blurred, and he shook his head, deciding that he needed a break, needed to drown out the voices in his telling him he would never be good enough. He put one of their old songs on, trying to lose himself in the voices of his brothers, his boyfriend. Jimin, small and sweet, Jimin, whose high, raw voice was in his ears at the moment, Jimin...Yoongi wanted so badly to be with him right now.

He ripped the earbuds out of his ears. He couldn't take it anymore, couldn't stop the tears as they began to flow down his face, his body shaking as he buried his head in his hands, nails digging into his scalp, pulling at his hair. Trying desperately to keep himself grounded, yet feeling himself spiraling away, out of control. He'd been delaying this for so long, feelings building up, that it really shouldn't have been a surprise that he was finally breaking. And yet it was, every time.

He tried to breathe but found that he couldn't. He was really shaking now, feeling so lost, so scared, so alone.

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Jimin had just arrived at the company building. He was taking the stairs two at a time, until he reached the correct floor. The door to Yoongi's studio was the third one on the left. It was locked, but Jimin knew the passcode. He was the only one Yoongi had entrusted it with.

Jimin punched in the code and entered the room, ready to yell, scold, or do whatever else it took to drag the rapper away from his work. All these thoughts vanished, however, the instant he saw Yoongi, curled in a ball on his chair rocking back and forth slightly, crying heavily and emitting pained, frightened, whimpers. And, god, was he shaking.

Jimin ran to him, and squatting down in front of Yoongi, he could see the tears streaming from his eyes, which were screwed shut. He wrapped his arms around the crying boy, feeling Yoongi freeze for a moment, then just melt into Jimin.

The older slid down from the chair, collapsing onto his boyfriend, hands grabbing Jimin's shirt as he desperately tried to get air. It was with alarm that Jimin noticed how rapidly Yoongi's chest was rising and falling, the boy on the brink of hyperventilation.

"Baby! Baby, look at me. Try to breathe normally for me, okay?" Yoongi angled his head slightly upward. There was such fear in his eyes that it made something in Jimin's chest twist painfully.

"C-Can't breathe.." Yoongi choked. Having dealt with a few of Yoongi's panic attacks before, Jimin had the basic idea of how to help him through them.

"Yes, you can, I know you can. Let's do the breathing patterns, okay angel? You remember what to do, right?" Yoongi nodded, just the slightest tilt of his head. Jimin rubbed his back through it, as he sucked in air and as he coughed, as he breathing finally slowed down, and as he buried his head in the crook of Jimin's neck, tears wet against the singer's skin.

"Jiminie..." Yoongi whispered, sounding more vulnerable than Jimin had ever heard him. "Jiminie...I...I tried s-so hard..."

"Shhhh....Baby, it's okay, it's all okay now, I'm here...Tell me what happened..." Jimin's fingers crept up Yoongi's back, trailing lightly up and down his neck, massaging it, pressing and squeezing gently, silently encouraging the rapper, supporting him.

"I don't know what...what exactly, I just...I was working and I-" Yoongi gulped, and Jimin pressed his lips softly to the edge of his jaw. "I was so, so tired, and my head hurt, and I couldn't-...Nothing was-" A fresh tear rolled down Yoongi's cheek, and Jimin caught in with his thumb, soothingly stroking his cheek.

"And then all of a sudden...I've been delaying it for so long, locking it away, it just-j...just...broke free..." he was quietly crying again, shoulders shaking. Jimin's heart broke seeing the boy he loved suffering so much. He wrapped his arms around Yoongi, rocking them back and forth, whispering and singing softly into the elder's ear, pressing occasional kisses to his tearstained cheeks.

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After a long while, when Jimin was certain that Yoongi had calmed down, he pulled the rapper gently to his feet.

"Let's go home, Yoongi. You need to sleep. And I'm guessing you haven't eaten this whole time, either?" Yoongi shook his head, looking at the floor. He started to apologize, but Jimin laid a gentle finger against his lips.

"Don't worry about that right now, sweet thing. Let's get you home and rested first, okay?" Jimin started to lead him to the door when Yoongi stumbled, almost falling.

"Oh baby, you're really tired, aren't you?" Jimin bit his lip, thinking, then bent down slightly. "Get on my back, I'll carry you." Yoongi wanted to protest, but the panic attack left him feeling even more tired than before, drained both mentally and physically. He draped himself over Jimin's back, resting his head against his dongsaeng's shoulder and allowing himself to doze off.

Jimin was walking as carefully as he could, so as not to jostle the sleeping boy on his back. Yoongi was much too light, but, true to his word, Jimin would wait until later, when Yoongi's mental state wasn't so fragile, to talk to him about that. For now he would going to just hold him, keep him safe, and make sure he sleeps.