Lillyheart's Secret

Chapter Thirty-two

Creekstar stood just at the entrance of the medicine den, appearance more worn and haggard than Lillyheart had ever seen her. Her eyes held such sorrow it pained Lillyheart just looking at the leader.

Creekstar took a step forward, then stopped, dropping down right where she stood, as if her paws could carry her no longer. "He's in my den now. Owltail said I couldn't stay. I couldn't get sick." The calico leader shook with each word, trembling like a leaf.

Lillyheart stepped towards her former mentor, crouching to rasp her tongue across her neck in hopes of providing even a sliver of comfort. "He'll get better, Creekstar. Don't worry, Reedfoot and Owltail know what they're doing."

Creekstar leaned into Lillyheart's touch, as if the fight was ebbing out of her. "But I do worry. He's been unwell for so long, and now I'm worried this time it will kill him." The leader's voice broke into a whisper tainted with sobs. "This time I'm worried it will kill me."

Pain filled Lillyheart at those words, and she draped her tail over Creekstar, forgetting all of her own worries as she comforted one grieving for a cat still breathing.
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Eventually, Creekstar left the medicine cat den, and, forgetting what she had even gone in there for, Lillyheart did too.

She slipped away, eager to be out in the stifled space of sorrow, even if the camp outside chilled her to the bone. A promise to Darkpaw gave her the strength to move on, despite the cold, into the snow.

It had lost its dazzling crispness, too trampled by the many who dared to brave the cold, and was now mixing into a muddy mess of pawprints and dirt, spots of blood evidence of previous hunting patrols.

Lillyheart's paws carried her further into the territory, towards the willows she had fallen from as an apprentice, where birds who remained through the cold hid until newleaf swept over the clans again.

Her promise to catch a bird for Darkpaw pushed her onward, until she was at the base of one of the trees, its black branches dripping down to the ground, too far away to caress the snow.

Here, prints of birds crossed in aimless patterns in search of food. Lillyheart stared up at the tree where the scattered flocks clumped together, staring at her with shining black eyes, taunting her with their unreachable closeness.

Lillyheart nestled herself into the snow, tail curled around her, settling in for the wait that was sure to come.

Birds, if the thought of danger was put out of their minds, would flock back down when she became one with the stillness of the landscape. It would be then that Lillyheart would pounce.

Until then, she waited.

As she sat there, her mind wandered away from the fields she lay hidden, but into the forests across the lake.

She thought of the nervous calico that leapt up into the tree at the gathering, whose words had tripped over themselves as she looked down at all the cats who had their eyes on her.

Why had happened to Lightningstar? The leader had seemed so lonely when Lillyheart had last seen her, as if she was carrying a vast burden.

Her thoughts flicked to Iceshatter, and for the first time since becoming mates with Murkfall, she let herself dwell on the Thunderclan warrior.

She would always be grateful for what he had done for her, for rescuing her when she had almost died, for protecting her in the midst of the camp, but she knew better now. She had never loved him, and he had never loved her. They simply had infatuation, and a relationship that hid under the guise of love, when it was truly just fear leading to loneliness.

Yes, that was it. She had never felt the way she had with Murkfall when she was with Iceshatter, and she could see that now. He had left her foolish and confused, while Murkfall had only ever been a solid mark in her life, someone she could always rely on.

Closing her eyes, Lillyheart let the words in her heart spill into the air, as if finally saying them made them true. "I never loved Iceshatter."

She caught a chickadee a moment later.
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As Lillyheart came back to camp with her catch, her ears pricked forwards, a soft smile lighting her face. She head voices in the camp, not the subdued ones from before, but the normal hubbub that came with life.

Creekpaw and Snakepaw suddenly raced out of the entrance, nearly colliding with Lillyheart, only to bounce away, paws swiping to tackle each other.

Lillyheart chuckled, stepping into camp with her tail raised high. It seemed so unlike how it had before she went hunting, that, for a moment, it seemed as if that interaction in the medicine den had never happened.

And then she saw Creekstar.

The leader paced in front of her den, occasionally stopping to peer inside, only the pad in a quick circle before continuing on with her path.

The lightness in Lillyheart's paws seeped out of her at the sight of their leader, looking so hopeless as she stood there, eyes filled with sorrow as she stared at the den.

Lillyheart shook herself, as if to free her mind of any thoughts, and trotted off to the medicine den to find Darkpaw.

It was much darker in there, the setting sun not supplying enough light to filter into the den.

Lillyheart chirped a soft greeting, but it was muffled by the bird in her jaws. Exhaling sharply, she dropped the chickadee at her paws and called out again. "Hello? Anyone in here?"

She took a step forward, and then recoiled, tail puffing up in fear as a strange scent started to coat her tongue. With her mouth now open and free from the rich scent of prey, the stench inside the den was flooding her senses, a deep instinct in her causing her to retch, every fiber in her telling her to run.

The den smelled of death.

Well...

It's funny that I can write 700 words in two days, but get caught up on one sentence and not be able to write for a week.

Anyways!! New chapter!

Lillyheart finally let go of Iceshatter, and realized that their relationship wasn't what she had thought it was.

I'll try and be as productive as I can this weekend, so be on the lookout for another chapter in the near(ish) future!