Lillyheart's Secret

Chapter Twenty-three

Lillyheart didn't think there was supposed to be snow in Starclan.

Granted, she had only ever been to Starclan once, which was probably once too many for her.

She stared out at the bleak, snow covered expanse, trees sighing under their load, the hush of the frost settling over Lillyheart.

The hush was broken by the crunch of paws in the snow, and Lillyheart swiveled her head, spotting a familiar form, her heart leaping with joy.

"Iceshatter!"

She started to run to the tom, but stopped when she saw the solemn look on his face, as if his whole world was crumbling. "Wha... what's wrong?" She mewed, trying to step closer to him.

The tom shook his head. "Don't, Lillyheart." He looked up at her, and all the pain in her eyes flooded over her, leaving her heavy and scared. "You have to let me go."

"No!" She couldn't lose him, not again. "You just came! And I never got to tell you tha-"

"Stop." Iceshatter cut her off, his voice sharp and cold. "Don't finish that sentance. Don't even say it. You can't say it. Things are more important now."

Lillyheart stepped back, hurt. "I... I don't understand. You said that you loved me!"

Iceshatter shook his head. "And I was a fool for saying so. Just leave, Lillyheart. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

Lillyheart flattened her ears, trembling at his words. "Why?" It was all she could manage, her voice tinted with shock.

Iceshatter started to turn away. "Just forget about me, Lillyheart. It's better for all of us this way." Snow started to flake down to the ground, and he faded into the whiteness, voice soft. "Goodbye, Lillyheart..."
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Lillyheart

Lillyheart

Lillyheart

"Lillyheart!"

Lillyheart squinted up at the hazy form of the cat above her, green eyes piercing the fog. Everything seemed to be frozen, cold as ice, etched with frost.

The blurry form above her sharpened, and she saw Murkfall staring down at her, eyes shining with relief. "You're ok," he whispered, brushing his muzzle against her cheek.

A soft, squeaking mew caught both or their attention, Lillyheart felt Leopardkit wiggle in between the two. "It's still cold," she complained, looking up at the two of them with big eyes.

For the first time, Lillyheart looked around at her surrounds, taking it all in.

Dense branches arched closely over them, snow peeking out in small patches. Murkfall shifted closer to her, the two of them taking up most of the space.

Murkfall chuckled slightly, and tucked Leopardkit closer with one paw, so she was huddled underneath him. "We're just staying put until the storm stops. Then I'll bring you home." He cast a soft look at Lillyheart. "Both of you."

Lillyheart gazed back, then ducked her head, a sharp guilt settling in her stomach. She shouldn't be here, not with Murkfall.

She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve his care, or his protection. She was too broken, and he was too perfect.

She was a mess.

Lillyheart leaned into Murkfall, trembling with every breath. What was she even doing here? She should have frozen out in that storm, should have let the stars take her when they could.

Leopardkit squirmed out from Murkfall's fur, and rubbed against Lillyheart, amber eyes shining. "Snow sucks," she commented, tucking herself closer to the she-cat. "It's cold and it's wet and it stings and I still can't feel my paws but I guess that's ok because Murkfall warmed me up and Murkfall is really nice." She stopped, and took a big breath, then exhaled, smiling up at the two of them.

Her head swiveled a bit, studying Murkfall, then Lillyheart, and then promptly blurted out, "Are you two still mates?"

Lillyheart's eyes widened with shock, and she could feel her face hearing up. Murkfall seemed to be in a similar predicament, stammering and looking anywhere but at Leopardkit.

When his gaze caught on Lillyheart, it softened a bit, and Lillyheart ducked her head, whisking her tail around to hide her face.

Murkfall finally spoke, and although Lillyheart couldn't see him, she could hear the strain in his voice, as if this was something he wasn't quite sure of himself, just an answer he had clung to, to please the kit. "We... never were mates," Murkfall replied, voice tinted with something darker.

Bitterness? Regret? Anger?

Did he ever regret her? Did he ever mourn the time he had lost, when they had been together?

A final thought left Lillyheart aching, as if all the breath was knocked out of her at once. Did he still regret her?

She was drawn from her thoughts by the touch of his tail, and when she lowered her own tail, she saw him, eyes shining softly in the dimming light.

"It's getting dark," he murmured. "Ans the snow still hasn't let up, so we might be staying here tonight."

Panic coiled in her at the thought of being in this bush for that long, trapped with Murkfall and her aching feelings.

But instead of protesting, or getting up and leaving, she nodded. That's all she could ever do now. She would never get to tell anyone how she felt inside, all sharp edges and broken dreams.

Dreams...

The cold glare of Iceshatter flared in her mind, and she shuddered, the pain of his words weighing on her. I was a fool for saying so. Had he known how his words would break her? Had he known that she was grieving him, grieving the things they never got to say?

Lillyheart froze when she felt Murkfall's nose touch her cheek, every fiber of her set on edge as he spoke. "Rest, Lillyheart. I'll watch over the two of you."

Her eyes closed, trying to memorize his touch. It had been so long... so long since she had felt comfortable in her own territory, when every noise could a danger.

But with Murkfall... he wouldn't let anything harm her, right?

She leaned against him, just barely, and he pressed a soft lick to the base of her ear. "Rest, Lillyheart."

She tucked herself into a small ball, then hesitated, and drew Leopardkit close with one paw. The sleepy kit mewed out a soft complaint, but nestled herself in Lillyheart's fur, drifting off.

Murkfall settled his tail over the two of them, and and the sound of steady breathing filled the cramped makeshift den, as Murkfall stared out into the falling snow.

Just as Lillyheart was fading into the darkness of sleep, she heard a soft murmur in her ear.

"I love you."

YO

Hey y'all I am here with another chapter! I'm not gonna lie, I needed a way to force these two together, so I took some inspiration from one of my fave kdramas (boys over flowers) and stuck them in a snowstorm together

Because when in doubt, snow works it out

Also! Be sure to check out the Q. and A. page, as you can ask the characters questions about... pretty much anything. And if I have enough time to work on it, I might also let you guys dare the characters as well!

Anyways, have a wonderfully jazzy day! ~Brindle