The Art of Healing

Chapter 10

During the next few days, Lane distanced himself from everyone. He didn't stop by The Homestead, he didn't reach out to Willow over text, and he took solitary jobs on the ranch, working as hard as he could from dawn to dusk and staying away from everyone. Thoughts about Brittney plagued him, with every breath he took and the guilt at wanting to move on with Willow was almost overwhelming. He was currently building a new section of fence in one of the furthest pastures from the main ranch house. It didn't really need to be done, as they were getting ready to move the cattle home to closer pastures for the winter and this pasture wouldn't be used until the next summer. However, he had overheard Eli mentioning that it needed to be done and he had offered to do it since it would mean working away from everyone.

"Why is it still so hot? It's supposed to be fall." He muttered as he took a break from pounding the new posts in with the hand held pounder. His back and shoulders ached and sweat was running down his back, face and neck. He stretched and wiped his face, and then stood staring at the mountains that loomed over the meadow he was working in. His thoughts spun and he found himself thinking about Brittney and her death over and over again. He couldn't help but wonder if he would feel less guilty about moving on from her death if he knew that it wasn't his fault. However, he knew with every part of his being that it was his fault and that knowledge alone gripped him in misery and wouldn't allow him the peace of mind he needed to move on with Willow. Shaking his head, he picked up the post pounder again and got back to work driving the posts deeper into the ground.

"Lane! What are you doing all the way out here boy?" He hadn't heard the sound of approaching hooves over the whacks of the pounder and he stopped, surprised and turned to face Eli.

"Working boss. Like you hired me to do." He shot back and then turned back to his work, grunting with the effort he had to make to drive the pounder down with enough force to push the post into the ground. He heard Eli chuckle wryly, but didn't stop his work. He just wished his boss would leave him alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Well I can see that, but no one told you to go out to the furthest pasture and fence 5 miles by yourself. This didn't need to be done until spring, and you could've at least gotten one of the guys to come help."

"5 miles isn't all that much. I can do it." Lane replied, but didn't stop his work. If Eli wanted to talk to him so bad, he would have to make the effort to be heard over the pounder. Lane was sure the other man didn't need his full attention to run his mouth. Eli usually talked whether anyone was listening or not.

"Sure you can. But it's hard work and what I'm saying is you don't have to do it."

"Maybe I like hard work." Lane threw the post pounder down, and then muscled another fence post off the trailer that was attached to his truck. He carried it to the spot he had marked out for the next post to go and dropped it, before making his way to pick up the shovel and post pounder to drive the post in. Eli followed him on his horse and Lane resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"What's eating at you boy?" Lane sighed at the words that he had been expecting ever since he had seen Eli. He knew his boss wouldn't quit bothering him if he thought that something was up. He should have expected an intervention at some point since he had been distancing himself from everyone for a while.

"Nothing." He responded, and turned to go back to work, but the sound of Eli's scoff stopped him.

"I wasn't born yesterday. Now you just quit what you're doing, sit down and take a break and talk. What you've been doing isn't healthy." Lane wanted so badly to tell his boss to mind his business and leave him alone, but he realized that the sooner he listened to Eli, the sooner the other man would leave him alone so he could work. He sighed, and turned to sit on the trailer. He opened his water bottle and took a long sip, before digging around in his pocket and pulling out a cigarette and a lighter. He lit up and inhaled deeply, before turning to look at Eli who had settled himself beside Lane on the trailer.