We're literally on chapter twenty-four, thank God.****
XXIV.
The green grass blew against Aaliyah's fingertips when she positioned the roses she brought to lean against the tombstone of her ex-boyfriend. She lowered herself down and sat next to it before playing with her nails. The cool breeze brushed past her as she took in a good breath--her eyes closed. There seemed to be no one at the cemetery when she arrived until she saw a young girl holding hands with her mom walk to a tombstone, a couple of stones away from her.
The mom had crouched down to the height of her daughter. She let her daughter place some flowers in front of them. There was a smile on the young girl's face, unlike her mother--who looked like she was holding in her tears in an attempt not to make her daughter sad.
The daughter looked like she could've been at least thirteen-years-old. She had on a black dress and some small heels. A tear rolled down her face, but she quickly wiped it away before her mother noticed. Aaliyah stared at the pair-- a look on her face; sympathy.
"Aaliyah, tell your father goodbye," she heard the mother whisper in the girl's ear. Instead of saying "goodbye," the girl waved, and then they disappeared.
Aaliyah looked down at Lucas's grave when a tear rolled down her face.
"I miss you," she sighed, "I've been thinking about you a lot."
She placed her hand on the red rose. It was his favorite flower. Every time they would be together, Lucas would either have a rose pin on his pants or roses in his car. She touched the necklace that hung around her neck. It was a shape of a rose, and he had given it to her on their second anniversary, so she knew he was always with her.
She had taken it off the night she broke up with him and handed it to him. The police gave it back to her when he died. It was in his hands when he passed. Aaliyah looked over her shoulder, biting her bottom lip so she wouldn't cry.
"I've been thinking of us and how much fun we used to have together. I find myself reliving that night."
She held the pendant in her hands tighter. It was raining. She had just finished having a panic attack before Lucas showed up at her dorm; everything went downhill from there. Aaliyah found herself closing her eyes and imagining that night-- how hurt she was when she decided to break things off with him.
Her panic attacks became an everyday thing. She became aggressive with herself and others. She would imagine Zach's motionless body on a floor or a couch, how intoxicated he was that nobody could wake him. She imagined her father's motionless body on his bed when she was thirteen years old.
Her thirteen-year-old self had just gotten home from school by herself while her mother was still at work. She went up the stairs, pulling herself up while skipping steps, and rushed to her parents' room. Her father laid on the bed--sheets covering his whole body-- motionless.
"Daddy," she called out to him.
No response.
She grabbed his arm and pulled on it, hoping he would wake up. Seeing that wasn't working, she crawled up the bed.
"Dad," she said, shaking him," I'm home."
Still no response.
She sat at the edge of the bed, held her dad's hand, and cried. She knew he was dead. She felt her dad's cold body, saw his brown pigment was now pale and his lips blue. Aaliyah saw herself hop off the bed and grab her father's phone. She was the one who dialed 9-1-1 that day. Crying, she ran out the house and towards Zach's, banging on the door as hard as her small hands could, hoping he'd be the one to come out.