𝐟𝐢𝐱 𝐦𝐞✧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝

TEN

─◌✰್
michael white.
2 days later.

got in a fight with jahseh today. i kinda mouthed off to him from all the shit that's been going on, and he didn't take it well i guess. i think he got mad because i was saying shit he knew made sense.

all i mentioned was that he really needs to learn to shut the fuck up with the jokes he makes. if jarad says shit to me, it's whatever because i know that nigga ain't coming from a bad place, but jahseh ain't the same. he says that shit to get a reaction, and he does.

and, i had to say something about the xans he pretty much gave to gianna, that made him mad too. not my fault he knows that shit ain't a game, and he still gave his supposed 'friend' an easy way to get them?? that really don't sound like a friend to me but ight.

so, in return he swung at me during his little temper tantrum. i'm obviously not gonna be a gay ass nigga who says 'bRo We SuPpOsEd To Be FrIeNdS' and not fight.

i'm not like jahseh. i don't just fight niggas for no reason. i'm usually off way too much xanax to even care. but, one thing niggas don't know is i got hands, don't be mistaken since i don't use em. growing up the way i did, you had to be able to fight. i'm just not a dumbass who throws hands for some retarded shit. he is.

it wasn't that bad of a fight but we still got in trouble for it, obviously. i have a couple scratches on my face and my knuckles are all fucked up, but coulda been worse. shit got broken up by stokeley and jarad before it could escalate.

then after we got sent to the office at school, my mom screamed at me because she said jahseh and i 'used to be such good friends'. not my problem that nigga move weird now.

i swear, shit can't never just get better. the only thing that can replicate the feeling of 'nothing matters' is xanax. without it, everything matters, i overthink. i've been sipping lean all day, trying to get my mind away from xanax and all those other pills, it just ain't hittin.

i told gianna i wasn't gonna take em but i have to. i feel bad since i took em away from her, and now i'm taking some but it is what it is.

i got more since my mom basically fucking confiscated my last bottle. i gotta take atleast some, if i don't, i'll get anxious as fuck.

i popped a couple, just waiting for the effects to work but it barely did shit, even after waiting a while. i swear, xans are like candy, you just wanna pop more. so, that's what i did, it's honestly fuck it at this point.

it got to the point all my control was just gone. i felt reality going away, then coming back. then, it just completely went away, everything was black.